What do *I* really want?

It is SO easy to think "as soon as he does this, then I will be happy and able to do that" or, "when X finally happens, then I can know that it is possible for me to do Y" or, a real biggie, "when I have the $$$, then I can ________!" And, even reading those sentences, it seems as if there is some legitimacy to thinking that way, at least in some situations... Doesn't it?

But what if it is the other way around? What if, in the grand scheme of things, it HAS to be the other way around?

What if you MUST start doing that BEFORE you can be happy / he will do whatever this is?
What if you MUST be doing Y before X can even BEGIN to happen?
What if you MUST start working toward ________ BEFORE you can get any $$ for it?

...What if you need to decide in YOUR heart that you WANT the promotion at work before the idea can even be planted in the minds of your superiors?
...What if you need to remember for yourself how intensely lovable he already IS before the thought even occurs to him to bring you flowers?
...What if you want to start to make a dream come true so badly that you have to actually start working on it without funding to prove to the Universe that you are really serious before a mere idea of how to attract some money from it will materialize?

What if the act of me deciding specifically what I want (and why I want it) will affect some condition that seemingly has nothing to do with me that will then enable my desire to come about?

This seems to be the case in a story I have recently experienced first hand: My husband has been trying to decide between three job offers he has. Now to me, it seems as if it is a total no-brainer - I mean, hands-down, no questions asked, one of the three choices is a clear winner for us - it is everything we have wanted, and more! ...At least, that is how *I* see it. But, mystifyingly to me, he is not so clear on what is "obviously" the winning choice. So I started to wonder what could be going on here? Why is it that something so clear to me is not so clear to him? It got me to thinking about how we have to "pay the piper" in advance in a life of attraction - the Universe requires us to pony up our OWN enthusiasm BEFORE it will see fit to give us what we want... In fact, that is HOW the Universe KNOWS what we want! I started to wonder if my husband was simply being a little microcosm of the Universe reflecting back to me my OWN waffling with regard to what I truly want in my life??? So I tried a little experiment - I started listing in my own mind the benefits of the job offer I wanted him to want... Listing the what and the why...

I love the city I'm living in! Why? I love the beach, I love the weather, I love my friends, I love the organizations I am a part of, I love my sense of home, I love being near my family...
I love my career here! Why? I love that I am in charge of my own schedule, I love that I have contacts and clients and friends here who are pulling for me, believe in me, and want me to succeed, I love that I am making money doing what I love to do, and it is all through word of mouth referrals, I love that my vast network of friends here all want to assist me, I love that the Universe is sending me both resources and ideas easily because I am happy here...
I love my lifestyle! Why? I love that I live in a bright, airy, warm, beautiful house that is close to so many amenities I appreciate, I love that I can walk to the beach, I love that I can walk to at least 12 restaurants that I enjoy (and three little markets, too) and that 100's more are within a handful of miles, I love that I work from my house and my house is a nice place to be, I love that this is my reality, and that appreciating it comes very easily to me!

On the other hand, I know someone else whose life is made up of three part-time jobs: As an under-appreciated paralegal in a law firm to pay the bills, a web programmer, and a jewelry designer. What she really wants is one full-time career doing one of the jobs (Owning her own business in the web world, I think). But, because she also likes at least one of the other two (jewelry designing, and selling a bit of it here and there on one of her web sites (and, if you can listen through her complaining and refusal to quit the paralegal gig, I suspect she secretly likes it too, if only because it is the "devil she knows" and quitting is too scary for her!!!)) Anyway, her intention is to keep her options open in case her first choice doesn't pan out. I see the nobility of her desire, I see that she would be perfectly happy with the 2nd choice career rather than the first (if, as she says, she could "make it" as a jewelry designer at a sustainable level), and I see that she really IS trying to succeed (at all three jobs!!) But, what I don't see is the passion she says she has for the first-choice job really pushed full-throttle toward doing that one! (And that one only!) ...And I am convinced that the Universe only really reacts to the kind of passion that will not be dissuaded - it's as if the Universe can feel it when "no less will do" and then, in response to the seriousness of the command, it really gets busy! I keep trying to encourage her to really focus on just the one - not to stop doing the others necessarily, because she gets more of her income from the paralegal gig, but, to use ALL of her mental power, imagination, and intention to simply concentrate on the one that is her first choice! Yeah, maybe she spends some time doing the others, but when it comes to what she is eating, sleeping, thinking, dreaming, and most of all, SPEAKING to others about, with regard to what she is doing - the focus MUST be on the ONE that she really wants! I try to encourage her to temporarily set aside the one that is both the least profitable AND not the most powerful desire (the jewelry) and focus every bit of attention she has on the web work - to the exclusion of even social engagements or other extra-curricular activities - for a month, or two, just to see what happens. I think that if she REALLY focused on ONE desire - focusing on what she wants and WHY she wants it - she would see some startling results! But, alas, so far this is only a theory, as she hasn't taken my advice. Well see, maybe she will, one of these days, and "suddenly" go from being a starving hopeful to being an "overnight" success??!! I'll keep you posted...

...There is a phrase that says: "Yes, you CAN have it all - just not all at the same time!" and I think that is very true!

One final illustration to convey my point on FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS: I was asked for advice from someone who was looking for a job, and he said that he was good at x, y and z. (I don't remember what the x, y, and z actually were, but they were disparate skills.) Now I know that he meant that he could happily do any of those things - not that he wanted to do them all simultaneously, but, my first thought was yikes - those things are entirely different job categories! Unfortunately, the UNIVERSE IS VERY LITERAL! As much as we like to think that the Universe MUST know that what we really mean is to only do the one that is the favorite, the fact of the matter is that the Universe really responds the same way my first impression did with regard to the potential job seeker: I don't know of ANY jobs where you do x, y, AND z!!! ...Or, if I can think of one, it's going to take me a LONG time to find it for ya!

Whew! ...So I guess I have to get really clear on what I MOST want and why I want it before I can expect the Universe to help me out, huh?

Then, mere hours after starting this post, as if in answer to my ponderings, the Universe influenced my husband by sweetening the deal for him, leading him to the aforementioned "obvious" conclusion, and he accepted the perfect job for him (and the perfect situation for me!) This may seem like a coincidence to many, but, for any who know my husband's remarkable ability to waffle on a decision, this was a miracle! (...One that you and I both know was made possible by MY connection with MY desire and enthusiasm for it!)

Wishing you ALL the same power of joy, confidence, connection, enthusiasm, and miracles that come with focusing on ONE dream, ONE desire, ONE goal at a time - giving YOURSELF the gift of getting really clear on why you want it - the Universe will do the rest!