Editing your "Ideal Mate" list...

I was recently conversing with some people who are actively working on attracting their life partner/ideal mate into their lives... The conversation got around to 1) how important it is to have a list of the qualities you desire to find in your ideal mate, and, 2) how even MORE important it is to EDIT the list so it's not TOO specific!!!

Sounds like a bit of a double bind doesn't it!

One reason I am a fan of editing a very detailed list is NOT because I do not think it is perfectly acceptable and valid to both want and hold out for EXACTLY what you desire in a mate - because I fervently believe that you DESERVE exactly what your heart most wants! However, I have a theory that the element of "TIME" is also a quality to be added to the list!

In other words, I believe that the Universe is trying to give you EXACTLY what you want in a partner, but, when that "recipe" of qualifications is super-specific, it may take quite a while for the Universe to orchestrate the 3 requirements for putting the two of you together:

1. Identifying and locating the precise person to match to your desires
2. Freeing that person from any commitments he/she may be involved in currently
3. Getting the two of you BOTH in physical proximity to one another

Therefore, in attempt to give you exactly what you want, the Universe may be working on it as FAST as it possibly can, but it still may take a Looooooooonnnnnggggg time. Unfortunately.

But, have heart, there ARE some possible solutions though! That is where careful editing comes into the equation! The trick is to carefully edit out that which is not a deal-breaker for you, while keeping in the qualities which are very important to the fulfilling and satisfying, loving and joyful intimate relationship you are seeking to create and attract!

Sensitive editing is a multi-step process, and I will go into one of the steps (the one I believe is the most fruitful and important) thoroughly here. If you want more information on the other two that are mentioned, you can send me an e-mail, but I think you'll get the gist of it!

STEP 1
(After you have created a list of all the qualities you want in a partner...) The BEST BEST BEST thing you can do with your "ideal mate" list is go through each and every item on the list, and come up with a few reasons WHY you want that particular quality in your partner. There is no wrong/bad answer, but it is important for you to be honest with YOU, because it is YOUR inner being that is doing the "wanting" and your conscious mind has to get up to speed with believing it's both possible and legitimate to want/have that (and the first step of that is knowing why you want it in the first place, and not secretly believing that you are being frivolous!)

For instance, when I was still looking for my husband, at 6' tall myself, I really wanted to find someone tall. However, I heard from SO many people throughout my life that said things like "but what if you fall in love with someone shorter than you?" or "you know, that's going to eliminate a HUGE percentage of the population" or "what does it say about you that you think you can only love someone who is taller than you?!" ...Oh, the peanut gallery - so many people, so quick to judge when they don't even have what I want themselves, so why on Earth should I have listened to them in the first place??!! But I did, on some level at least, so I had to get really specific and honest with myself about WHY I wanted what I wanted - and it took courage - standing up for the quiet voice of what your own heart really wants is almost never easy! ...Not when the peanut gallery is around! So I took a long walk with my voice recorder (I do my best reflection when I am mindlessly engaged in something that doesn't take thought of it's own (walking, showering, even writing - but sitting down to JUST think doesn't get me very far!)) and asked myself that question: "WHY do I want "my guy" to be taller than me?"

I came up with answers that may seem frivolous or shallow or silly to other people, but, they were what MY heart wanted, what inspired the feelings that *I* wanted to feel when I was with "my guy" - and *THAT* is the important part for each of us to identify when we are trying to attract someone/something as important as a mate into our lives! The more honest you are with yourself now, the stronger foundation you will have for happiness later, because other people are far from perfect all the time, and you will want to reference back to why you wanted "this" in the days ahead! ...So, I listed all the answers I could come up with, things like:

• "I want to feel somewhat petite when I am with my guy - I am tired of feeling "big" around men, and I want to feel feminine with him"
• "I want him to wear bigger clothes sizes than I do - I want my under things to be the smallest items in the laundry - I feel happy about my own body when that is true"
• "I want to feel like we "match" one another, like we "go" together"
• (...a big one) "I hated it when I was with boyfriend-X and people stared at us because I was 4" taller than him - that felt really yucky, I didn't like how *I* felt in that situation, and I want to feel proud, happy and confident walking down the street!" (that particular boyfriend was very important in my life in other ways at the time, but I digress)
• "I like the feeling of both of us "blending in" with the rest of the people in my extended family photos"
• "I want to be very physically attracted to my mate, and I am really only physically attracted to tall men!"
• "Spooning is SO much better when the guy is bigger than me!"
• ...Etc. etc. etc. - there were more, but you get the idea!
  

I listed A LOT of things, because this was a hot button for me! I basically had to remind and convince myself that I was worthy of having my mate be in line with my desires on that topic, AND why it really was valid to feel that way. ...And, the more reasons "why" I listed, the more I knew which qualities were really important to me!

This exercise may take quite a while, but it is SO worth it!! After you have you have thoroughly identified WHY you care about each quality, you will have a much better idea of how to rank them (we'll get to "ranking" in step 3 below). Another benefit of this "why" exercise is to give you a sense of what qualities you might want to strengthen or cultivate in yourself, rather than waiting for your mate to bring them to the table... For me, these were things like career confidence/earning power, as well as DIY/fix-it ability for projects around the house (just to name a couple). Part of me had been waiting for "him" to fill in those gaps, then, when I started to just work on them myself, I lost that sense of "needing" him to "be that" FOR me. 'Needing' and 'desiring' are two very different energies... Any quality that is on your "ideal partner/mate" list should be there because you prefer that quality in people close to you, not because you are missing it entirely. ...If you are missing it entirely, you may want to consider the virtues of paying a professional to help you with it rather than hoping your partner will fill that void (with the possible exception of sex, perhaps!)

Whew! Long answer to what is actually a very simple (though time consuming) exercise! Now for step 2 in the editing process...

STEP 2
Time is a factor... Look over the qualities in your list and get a sense of which ones would fall into these two categories:

• Category A) Qualities I MUST have in a partner, no matter how long it takes
  
• Category B) I would rather have him/her in my life NOW than wait for someone with this quality

Ask yourself: "Would I rather have a mate with this quality, or would I rather have someone immediately, without this quality?" (...pretend that you must choose between those two options (ultimately, you may not have to, but think about the priorities as if you do!)) The point here is not to eliminate any of your desired qualities necessarily, but to get REALLY honest with yourself about what is most important to you! It may be that you want someone who is your idea of perfect, and you are willing to wait for that, and that is fine... But, if you factor time into the equation, it may be that you want to get on with experiencing your life with a loving companion right away, in which case maybe he/she doesn't need to be "perfect"? It's up to you - it's your own most deeply held heart's desires that are dictating this connection (and WHEN it may happen!)

STEP 3
Now that you have gotten really honest with yourself, you know what you want, why you want it, and how important it is to you to meet him/her now vs. how long you can wait for your perfect someone to come along... A good way to quantify this new knowledge is to rank all the qualities of your ideal mate into an A-list, a B-list, and a C-list.

Your A-list are the absolute MUST haves - the total deal-breakers if your mate did not have these qualities... Sexual orientation and gender are good examples of A-list items! All the items that you decided you were willing to wait for as long as it takes (Category A from step 2, above) are definitely A-list qualities. For me, "my guy" had to be tall, so that was an A-list item. Some other A-list items on my own list, or the lists of some of my friends included items as diverse as "clean-breather" (non-smoker without the emphasis on the very act she was trying NOT to attract), "omnivore" (from a friend's list who valued eating all kinds of food and wanted to share that activity with his future wife), "family-oriented and wants kids" (for someone who has a very close relationship with her own family and definitely wanted to have children of her own), or "sports fan" (from the list of a guy I know who lives sports day-in and day-out)...

That last example could be a trait that might fall into a B-list or even a C-list item for someone else. B-list items are ones that you really do want in a partner, but maybe there is a little latitude in your willingness for them to learn or develop that hobby/interest/trait, or perhaps they do have that quality, but not to the same degree that you do, or maybe they are the "category B" items (from step 2, above) - the qualities you definitely want, but, if you had to choose, you'd rather have your partner NOW than wait for these "B-list" traits...

The C-list items are the ones that are just icing on the cake... "It would be great if he liked going wine-tasting, but it's alright if he doesn't - I don't 'need' to do that with my guy to be happy", or "It would be really cool if she was a volleyball fan, but she doesn't have to be as long as she is happy doing her own thing when I go play", and the like. The C-list items are items that you could almost scratch off the list entirely, but, just to make sure that the Universe knows what your preference is, they are still on the list. They are preferences, but if it came down to it, you would absolutely choose to have your partner RIGHT AWAY rather than wait for these type of traits.

****

The good news is that you CANNOT get it wrong! ...Your dreams are God's dreams FOR YOU! The entire Universe is conspiring to give you exactly what you want in a mate. Perhaps the next one who comes along will be that very person, or maybe he/she will be fun for a little while and end up helping you to realize that there is an important quality that should have been on your "ideal mate" list... Everyone you meet can help you clarify what kind of experience YOU want to have in your relationships! Every person you come in contact with is getting you closer and closer - it is impossible to make a mistake when YOU are attracting the very people who help you to recognize what it is YOU really want in a partner!

The long and the short of it is that the Universe IS trying to give you exactly what your heart wants, and you DESERVE to experience that!!! Life is supposed to be joyful and fun, and sharing ones life experience with a loving partner is a HUGE component of that! ...And, your ideal mate is trying to find YOU just as much as you are trying to find them! The point of editing your list is to put you in the energetic vicinity of your mate as soon as possible, so that you can get on with it and live the joyful life you are meant to live!

Until he/she finds you, just keep working on strengthening the qualities on your "ideal mate" list in YOURSELF, and have as much fun as possible in your own life... Soon, you will be just going about your day and "Poof!" your mate will be standing right in front of you (though you may not know it right away!) It WILL happen - it IS happening now!

Meanwhile...

At a recent Abraham-Hicks “Art of Allowing” workshop in Los Angeles, I again found that the questions on my mind always seem to be asked and answered no matter who is verbalizing the actual words! This is the response to a questioner asking how he could orient his thinking when he starts to feel discouraged that what he wants isn’t coming fast enough:

"…[Say to yourself] I’m on track, I’m doing pretty good, I’ve got another “30-day extension”! I’m happy most of the time, and when I’m not, I can feel it... And, some things in my life, I CAN see the evidence of my improved vibrational alignment! And, I’m dreaming big, and big dreams, from my point of view, sometimes take a little longer, and maybe that’s something that I need to work at in my vibration, but meanwhile, I am sure that these things that I am asking for are giving me a reason to focus that are going to give me payoffs on many other things! I have a feeling that my vibrational escrow is much bigger than I can even conceive of, and I know that the Law of Attraction is responding to the vibration that I am emitting, and I am willing to use THAT guidance - I am happy to use that POST-manifestational awareness! In others words, I am saying that “I’m happy” and I’m also saying “that it’s not happening fast enough”, so the manifestation that is ‘not happening’ shows me that I am not offering the vibration that maybe I think I’m offering, and so I’m willing to clean it up a little more, and clean it up a little more, and I can feel that ‘discouragement’ is not my friend! Even though I sometimes feel discouraged... I can feel that ‘encouragement’ IS my friend, I can feel that discouragement is not my friend, and hope is my friend - and there’s nothing wrong with being discouraged, but I WANT to be more hopeful! And I acknowledge that I am feeling pretty good most of the time, but I also acknowledge that there is more that I can do - and I’m willing to do it, I’m wanting to do it, I’m eager to do it! I don’t need the manifestation to happen in order to be happy - THAT is what I am coming forth in order to live, and learn, and teach! I don’t have to wait to get to the ending place in order to celebrate the journey that I have taken; my celebration is every step along the way! Look at me!"

--Abraham-Hicks February 2, 2008

The reason I went to the trouble of transcribing and posting this quote myself is because it inspired me and reminded me to keep my own chin up! …It allowed me to remember that my only work is to see it, believe it, and know it’s on it’s way – whatever “it” is! My work, in fact the only work that any of us need do is to soothe ourselves into the frame of mind such that we KNOW we are on track, we KNOW it’s a “done deal” already, and we KNOW that our future reality is safe, secure, and delicious! …We know it because we can find the thoughts with regard to what we are in the process of creating that feel good when we think them – simply “talking ourselves into it” so to speak!

Try doing what I did this evening: Read the above quote over a few times (or 20) and FEEL yourself as the one speaking it… Imagine it is YOU who is uttering these exact words, and let them seep into your truth… Find the ways that this quote, as spoken, is ALREADY EXACTLY CORRECT in your life right now…

• The dreams you have ARE big dreams!
• They MIGHT take a little more time!
• You DO know they are coming!
• You DO have every reason to feel encouraged!
• You CAN clean up your vibration on anything that’s still sticky!
• You DO feel pretty good most of the time!
• You ARE living, learning and teaching along the way!
• The journey of creation really IS fun and a celebration in itself!

FEEL it as REAL for you NOW!!! …Because it IS!

The economy is GREAT!

…Great for fine-tuning my awareness of what I am creating for MYSELF that is!

The other night I was thinking about the economy: The "deplorable" value of the US dollar on the world market, the US National debt and the thousands of dollars each and every one of us in the United States is paying in interest to service that debt – thinking about it all got me SO discouraged, SO down, and SO angry!!! I should have known that I was on the wrong track right there, but, I had been in a conversation in which I was trying to prove to someone else [NOTE TO SELF: trying to prove anything to anybody is the opposite of alignment on the subject (for future reference!)] But, I was trying to prove that there is a problem in our country! The person I was speaking with is a dogmatic “all taxes are bad taxes” kind of political thinker, and I was trying to convince him of how “bad” it’s getting out there – foreclosures, credit-card debt, gas prices, food costs, jobs, uuuuhhhg… I was deeply entrenched in the (false) belief that the situation is dire, and that was ALL I could see! I was so “spitting-nails” angry that I excused myself from the conversation and gave myself a time-out to try to re-focus my thoughts…

WHOA, Nellie!!! What am I doing to myself here???!

After a little while I remembered (NEWSFLASH) that our thoughts create our own reality, and asked myself:

• “What am I creating here?”
• “What reality am I creating for myself by marinating in these kind of doomsday thoughts?”
• “What am I creating for myself by trying to PROVE this point?”
• “Why am I arguing FOR limitations that I don't even suffer too badly from?”
• “What kind of situation is all this emotionally-charged worrying scripting for me?”

Then, after a long pause, miraculously, a little light started to peek through: “Who are the people who are NOT worrying about the current economic situation???!”

…They are the people who are NOT using their mental energy to focus on the problem, or the “bad” state of things, or how awful it could get – that’s who! And, if that is true, then who have I been being? Or, even better, who do I want to START being now?

What was my anger telling me about the truth of the situation (as I was focusing on it) for me?? Bad feelings tell us that we have discord within ourselves – discord between what we are thinking about, or how we are perceiving ourselves vs. what our own Inner Being / Highest-Self / Soul knows to be true about us. …Discord between what we are currently imagining and what is actually waiting for us in our own “vibrational escrow” – our future reality (IF we ALLOW ourselves to line-up with it!)

My anger was NOT *because of* the situation / condition of "the economy" (no matter how seductively disguised to SEEM that way it was), my anger was because I was using my creative brain energy to focus my thoughts on something that is NOT TRUE according to my Inner Being/Source Energy! ...My anger was because my OWN vibrational escrow is holding a reality for ME that is not touched, damaged, or harmed in any way by those conditions - they may affect other people dreadfully (if those people are creating/perpetuating that for themselves,) but, for me, my own reality must be "above all that", because when I was looking at the "bad economy reality” my own emotional guidance system was telling me to turn my focus away from it!

It was hard to do, because the "state of the economy" is such a hot-button for me, I gravitate to it like a crack-addict looking for a fix. That, and photo-enforcement traffic signal cameras are two subjects I can’t seem to get myself a slippery enough soap-box for – I get up there and it is damn hard to pull me back down! And, to make matters even worse, trying to "not think" about it is like trying to pull your finger out of an electrical socket - the electricity that is doing the damage is the very thing holding your finger in connection with it! Trying to "not think" about it *IS* thinking about it, therefore, an impossible task!

So, instead, perhaps I should focus on what IS true for me? Or, at least, what do I WANT to be true for me on the subject of the economy? It is in answering that question that I started to allow my own abundance to begin to flicker in my imagination again…

I tried to "look at" the situation from the other side - not the side of the "poor people who are so adversely affected by the economy" with whom I was identifying with so strongly mere moments before, but from the side of the "prosperous people who have plenty, who are living an abundant reality, and who aren't terribly affected by the economy"... BOTH exist. BOTH are living their lives and creating their OWN realities despite what is going on for "the others"!! BUT **I** was the one who was choosing to identify with the "poor, oppressed segment of society" (while I was in that conversation) - I was the one who was observing their plight and offering my thoughts of "something should be done", "this isn't right", etc. - beating the drum of a troubled economy - which only perpetuates that kind of pattern for ME! (Maybe not in the same way, but it certainly wasn't manifesting a pattern of abundance and joy (at least not that night!))

Admitting to myself that there did indeed exist people who were so prosperous and abundant in their creation of their life reality, that the state of the economy didn't affect them too harshly felt really good to me, so I thought about it more... "Those people" (of whom I must be one in vibrational escrow, because thinking about it feels good) don't see a "problem" with the economy, and are therefore creating/attracting a reality that supports that belief! For "they" who have an abundance of dollars for their own desired lifestyle, the current economy might be an annoyance at worst, an opportunity at least, and a stroke of good luck for whatever it is that they are up to! "They" are using the economy right now, as it IS, to THRIVE! "They" are doing really well, and quite possibly, finding opportunities to do even better financially than they did last year, or the year before that! There are even people who are becoming more and more prosperous WHILE creating win-win situations for EVERYBODY involved with them! ...The already abundant Universe is giving them even more of what they desire - that is the reality they are creating with their focus. They don't see a problem with the economy, because, to them, it literally isn't there! Just like when Abraham (the teachings of Abraham-Hicks) says that the world doesn't need to be fixed, and the Polar Bears don't need to be saved, and there is plenty of everything for everybody - as soon as we each align ourselves with that knowing - then it is true for us too! ...I want me some of THAT!!!

...The Law of Attraction brings to our experience EXACTLY what we focus our attention on!

I had been the one "creating" a troubled economy because I was the one choosing to focus my thoughts on it and identify with it!!! As soon as I choose anew, and focus my thoughts on what my own Inner Being knows to be true for ME, both now, and in my own future, then, there won't be a troubled economy for ME anymore!!! ...And that is the ONLY reality I CAN create - the one for ME! And, it is only when it doesn't exist for me anymore that I can *really* help anyone else to know that it doesn't have to exist for them anymore!!!

(...I certainly wasn't adding value by creating more "poor and oppressed" conditions! As we have all heard before, “one can’t get sick enough to heal anyone else’s disease!”)

I create MY OWN reality, so, *I* am the one who has to discipline myself to look at the world through the lens of Source Energy and abundance, or, at least the lens of how I desire to live MY life. ...Then, I just have to trust that all the rest will fall into place perfectly in it's own time. So what IS the reality I can now create based on my shift of focus?

• Now I have again begun to be more conscious about NOT watching the news when stories of doom and gloom come on...
• When I do catch myself in a conversation where those topics come up, or I notice them for some reason, I use it as a trigger to say to myself: "That is NOT my reality - MY reality is that ALL is well, MY reality is that my opportunities are coming to me BECAUSE of the conditions right now, MY reality is rich, and prosperous, and full and fun, MY reality is thriving in ALL conditions!"
• When I see examples of people, or companies, or products flourishing in this market, I say "THAT's for ME!"
• When I have ideas for products or services or collaborations, I think "WOW! Look! It's another possible channel through which the abundant Universe might be bringing me fabulous success!"
• If I hear of someone else's success, windfall, or income improvement, I know even more strongly that mine is on the way - the simple awareness of the "desired reality" in someone else tells me that my own vibration is attracting THAT reality, so I rejoice! (For them, AND for me!)

Through the simple shift of focus as to which experience I am choosing to identify with, I can turn the "they" who are prosperous in the above example into a "WE"! And, finally, get back on track with the real work of looking for ALL the ways that my "desired reality" is true for me NOW... How MY economy IS great!!! ...I *DO* have money coming in, I *AM* able to pay the bills that are due today (using the legitimate resources available to me) , I *DO* have tons of ideas that could really be something awesome, I *AM* able to do exactly what I love doing for work, and I am really happy doing it, I *DO* see many opportunities that I really can do if I choose...

When I am looking ONLY for what I WANT to see (be it economic conditions, income, health, love, family, etc.) and looking for ways to see it as already true now (even a little bit) the Law of Attraction MUST bring my attention to more of THAT! And, when I am experiencing peace, and prosperity, and love in my heart - the economy IS great!! ...And so it is. It is Law.

You ARE on the right path!

What if you knew that EXACTLY what you are doing right now, today, this week, right this minute was the PRECISELY correct action to take you where you ultimately want to be in your life?

What would that feel like?

You may be sitting there, in a job you don't particularly like, looking for a way to take another break, but unsure of the vibratory effect of yet one more cup of coffee, you are simply sitting for now... Or maybe you know what you "should" be doing to make some progress, but, you don't really feel like it right now... Perhaps you are indulging in my all-time favorite time-wasting activity and watching the television, lamenting the time NOT spent on the treadmill, outside, with your family, reading, writing, painting, planning - anything but what you ARE doing right this minute? ...Even sleeping, eating, showering, or web-surfing - all things we must do on a daily (or almost daily) basis, yet, they don't seem to be things that are directly related to the fulfillment of our dreams and goals! (...at least, not most of the time!)

What if what you are doing RIGHT NOW is the EXACT activity that is ABSOLUTELY necessary to the fulfillment of your fondest wishes and goals???!

What if not only what you are doing right this minute is absolutely necessary to the fulfillment of your desires (because, right this minute, you are reading my blog, and that is DEFINITELY helpful for the achievement of any one's goals!!!! (wink and a smile!)) but, EVERY action that you take today is absolutely, positively necessary to your progression along your path??? ...The commute, the traffic, the seemingly mundane lunch, the phone calls, the billboard that caught your eye, the annoying guy in the next cubicle, the memo that you hate to write but must do all the same, the television, the distractions, all of it???!

How would your current life look different, feel different, if you KNEW that ALL of it was an INTEGRAL part of creating the YOU that will eventually be experiencing ALL of your dreams??!

Guess what? It IS! All of it.

How exciting is that? Pretty darn exciting when you observe the traffic jam you are stuck in and ponder the idea that it is and absolutely necessary part of your path to your own dreams! Now it may not be directly obvious how that can be true, it may never be, but the point is to be able to look at some situation in your life and KNOW that it IS helping you - however indirectly that may be!

So, the next time you catch yourself frustrated, aggravated, overwhelmed, or even just plain bored, try asking yourself: "How might THIS situation, AS IS, be helping me in the long run? What is this situation showing me about where I am going in LIFE? What are some aspects of this that are HELPING me, right now??"

...Maybe it is only to be more clear about what you DO want in your life, but, when you spend some time thinking about and pondering THAT - I guarantee that you will be FEELING better about exactly where you ARE! ...And THAT is the key to the Law of Attraction: Feel better about where you ARE in life, so you can attract more of THAT! It is what is meant by the "art of allowing" - allowing what IS to be, as it is, without trying to change it, and thus, allowing yourself to focus on it's benefits to you rather than any frustration that may be present.

Your inner self, your own higher you, the REAL YOU and the Universe are conspiring and calling your attention to everything that comes into your awareness right now - all with the singular purpose of using it to craft and fine-tune YOU to be able to be the YOU that will be experiencing the dreams YOU have! ...It is BY you, and it is FOR you!

For instance, as I was finishing up the line above, trying to finish this very post, the computer suddenly went blank - it had run out of juice, and went dark without warning. For a moment I was quite frustrated, as I enjoy finishing things and moving on, and here I was, SO close to finishing and posting, then poof! After a minute of looking for a power source in order to "change my situation" without any success, I decided to try my own advice on myself... I asked myself: "okay, so little miss smarty-pants, what could be the good in THIS situation for YOU, Andrea? Why might the sudden IN-ability to continue writing and get this post out to the eager masses of loyal fans be a GOOD thing? How might this situation be EXACTLY the right circumstance to move me along the path to my own dreams of glory or being offered a book deal????!" Silence. I couldn't think of anything. Zilch. But, on the other hand, I wasn't spending the downtime raging against the injustice of it all either - I was actively looking for the positive, or even, the necessarily neutral in the situation, and thus, felt a sense of inner peace with it all. ...I wasn't annoyed and frustrated anymore either! That is the REAL beauty of it! The goal is not necessarily to be happy-go-lucky all the time, just NOT to be focused on the upset!!! As it turns out, when I finally got back to being able to continue working on the post, I had used some more of my interim time to pick up a book a love and start to read a bit. (The book is "The Passion Test" by Janet and Chris Attwood - a book I highly recommend to anyone who is on the path of crafting where it is they think they want to go in life and or fulfilling big dreams and wondering the best way to go about it - it has a remarkable ability to give one a sense of confidence in the pure power of simply following one's own fascinations!) In it, I immediately found a quote that confirmed the wisdom of what I had been writing in the post in the first place: "Your challenge is to stay open, let go of your concepts about how your life should be, and embrace the way it IS! ...When you love the PROCESS, the results will take care of themselves!" (emphasis added)

What this all means to me is a confirmation of the ideas I had presented at the beginning of this post - that this IS the right path! What I am doing RIGHT NOW has a greater purpose for me, even if I don't know what it is right now! That staying open to the ideas about how any (and every) moment might be of benefit to me, I am allowing greater and greater levels of clarification, and, perhaps, even actual progress toward my goals and dreams even if I am not consciously aware of HOW that could be possible. And, most of all, by looking for the grace that might be living in any situation I may find myself to be in, I am much more likely to find it. And that, in itself, is the essence of the Law of Attraction - choose to focus on the good and the desirable, and make it your intention to feel good despite the circumstances and conditions you find yourself in, as THAT is the way to get to where your heart wants to go! And that, as far as I know, is what we all really want anyway!

Take heart... You ARE on the right path!
...Simply because you allow yourself to see that you are!

How much JOY can $600 buy??!

$600 can buy ME lots and lots and LOTS of JOY!
...What about you?????

There is an exercise described in the Abraham-Hicks book "Ask and It IS Given" called the $100 process, and it is a process by which you go to the bank and get a fresh, crisp, lovely $100 bill (my "best friend Ben" as I like to call them!) and you carry it around in your pocket, or wallet, or anywhere you will see it all the time, and remember that you have $100 that you could spend if you wished. Emphasis on the word "could"! The $100 bill is used as a reminder to KNOW that as you come across things or experiences that cost $100 (thereabout) and would give you JOY, or that you would love, or that would bring with them a sense of satisfaction, you COULD buy that exquisite little something if you chose to do so. Now if you were to actually spend it on the first thing you saw, it would only work once. The real point is to spend it over and over and over again in your mind, each time taking a moment to luxuriate in the feelings of satisfaction and happiness and playful fun while imagining yourself buying/using that item for yourself, and then to do it again, and again, and again. The process is supposed to build up a sense of prosperity in your subconscious while you luxuriate in the ABILITY to buy anything you want (for $100) if you were to choose to actually do so.

However, for me, the process didn't quite work out that way. It seems I could never quite trick myself into thinking that I REALLY could use that hard-earned $100 bill on something frivolous if I wanted to - not when I was using the credit card to buy groceries, and the simple act of withdrawing that $100 bill from the bank left my checking account teetering not far above! Abraham stresses that it doesn't work if you use an I.O.U. in place of the $100, because your brain is too smart to be fooled into believing that the I.O.U. is really good for anything (and stores certainly won't take them...) Well, for me, the $100 bill might as well have been an I.O.U., because my brain STILL didn't think that I could really afford to use it "just" for joy when I really needed it for rent!

But then my friend, musician Kim Jones, told me about a twist she has put on the idea of the $100 process, and that is to MENTALLY SPEND your "economic stimulus check" before you get it!!!!! It is brilliant! It is even BETTER than the $100 process because:

1. It's $600 dollars!!!!
2. It's YOURS!
3. It REALLY is coming to you (...whether or not your politics allow you to believe it should be or not)!!
4. It's not here yet, so all you CAN do with it is mentally spend it until it arrives!
5. And, BEST of all, according to our "illustrious" president, the PURPOSE of the refund is to SPEND it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The president has actually said (...let me find the quote here, hmmm, don't want to waste energy on that, so I'll paraphrase what I THINK he has actually said) that the checks are intended to encourage people to use them on purchases in stores, to stimulate the economy!!! Woo-hoo, don't worry about rent, your mortgage, power, home heating oil, credit card bills, gas, food, or other necessities of basic living - Go spend your $600 in stores to buy STUFF!!!!! But, as ridiculous as that is, we can ALL still use it to our own benefit in ATTRACTING more prosperity with it BEFORE we spend it on what we really need ( rent, the mortgage, power, home heating oil, credit card bills, gas, food, etc. )!!!!!!! THAT is the REAL woo-hoooooooooooo!!!!!

It REALLY is brilliant from a Law of Attraction and Law of Allowing perspective (though I doubt that was the original motivation for the plan) because we really CAN use it as an exponentially more powerful $100 process, and spend time mentally focusing on and thinking about ALL THE FUN we could have with $600 to spend on ANYTHING!!!! Because what we focus on ALWAYS expands and draws the subject of our focus into our experience, we can magnetise literally thousands of $ into our reality by using the time in between now and May (when the checks are expected to start arriving) to focus as much and as often as possible on the JOY we could buy with that $600!!!!

The ONLY key is that it MUST be something that brings you JOY - you must feel excited and eager, and happy when you think of spending the $600 (at least while you are mentally doing it prior to actually receiving the check). It's not FUN to spend money on rent, or bills, or even socking it away in a savings account - so the only limitation on mentally spending the $600 is that you are limited to FUN mental spending!!!

...I could get massages every week for two months! ...I could buy a used jacuzzi or hot-tub, or even better, I could combine my $600 with my husband's and buy a NEW one (Ahhhhh, can't you just feel that soothing warm water caressing the skin!) ...I could buy a mini-vacation! ...I could buy some awesome new clothes that make me feel hot! ...I could hire someone to clean my house for me for almost 5 months (every other week, but hey, I'll take it!!!) ...Oh yeah, the new iPhone - now we're talkin'! ...I could treat my husband and I to spectacular restaurants, nibbling on gourmet edibles, every week for a month - savoring every bite! Yummmmmmmmm.

...And those are just a few that I thought up quickly for the purpose of illustration!

Send me some of yours at: Andrea@theWANTshop.com, and I will post them (with or without names) so we can ALL benefit from JOYOUSLY spending millions worth of prosperity and wealth, $600 at a time!

I am looking forward to hearing from you!

There is NO such thing as "losing" weight...

I was just watching the television show "I Can Make You Thin" on TLC for the first time tonight, and though it is a fantastic show with great NLP techniques, good common sense, and principles that are right in line with the Law of Attraction, I cannot help but be reminded that there really is no such thing as "losing" weight!

The only thing that really exists is pure Source Energy, Love, and perfect Health/Wellness, and weight is merely a matter of our vibration, and whether we align with that or not.

So many people, most in fact, think of themselves as deficient or not-yet-perfect until they "lose that last 15 pounds", and/or make their primary focus of every day to "lose weight". However, unfortunately, the Law of Attraction draws to us that which we focus upon, so, if we are focusing on "weight", THAT is the experience which will EXPAND in our lives! The Universe does not draw a distinction between "losing" weight or "gaining" weight - the Universe only responds to the SUBJECT of our attention, and in this example, it is the "weight" itself, so you get more! (If you want to know more about why the Universe doesn't "know what you mean" when you envision yourself as "losing weight", see my 06/25/07 post on "Don't" commands and negations.)

But, back to the point - you cannot "deactivate" a thought, and you cannot "lose" a thought made manifest. This is the basic premise behind why there is no such thing as "losing weight". Weight is a repeated thought made manifest. You have heard this analogy before, but if someone said to you "don't think of a remote control", or "don't imagine a purple elephant", or "don't tell me what your least favorite feature about yourself is", you cannot help, at least for a split second, to think that thought. And, when you think that thought, you are sending the emotional response that comes with it out into the Universe as a command - not necessarily a very powerful one, but a command nonetheless. It is those commands, particularly the ones with a strong emotional component (a turbo-boost of added energy for stronger broadcast), repeated continuously, on a vibratory level that make up the reality of the life you experience as you!

"When you stand in resistance and shout NO! at something, you are actually saying yes to it by your focus of attention. It becomes an active vibrational component in your life... Instead resolve to talk more about what you DO want and less about what you don't want."

-Esther Hicks channeling Abraham

So, now what to do instead you wonder??!! ...Start to learn to look at the truth of the matter:

• YOU are beautiful! YOU are perfect, precious, whole and complete!
• YOU are a divine being - Source Energy made manifest!
• YOU are magnificent!
• Your body is a vehicle for YOU (who you REALLY ARE) to experience life and learn to deliberately focus on the reality YOU intend to live!
• YOU are the essence of Love, health and wellness!
• YOU are extraordinary!
• YOU are pure ENERGY!
• YOU are a Creator!

Think about that... Do you believe it? It's positively true. Your work is not to diet, your work is to train yourself to believe the truth of who YOU really are! Your work is to re-focus your attention from what you dislike about yourself onto what you LIKE about yourself and what you LIKE about your body. Your work is to learn to worship your body - ALL of it - exactly AS IT IS right now... ONLY that work will transform your thoughts which will then transform your reality, but, more importantly, you will begin to love yourself and feel good NOW, and that is ALL that really matters!

So, no matter which philosophy you subscribe to on your action journey of sculpting the ideal physical figure for you, be sure to add the vibratory component of loving yourself a little more each day... Look in the mirror and find one body part to LOVE, then another, then another. Think of yourself as your perfect size and feel how good it feels to be YOU in that physical body - take the time to imagine it as already done without reducing yourself to a goal of a number. And, most importantly, remind yourself of the TRUTH of who YOU REALLY ARE as often as you possibly can - 100 times or more every day - because then, you will finally know...

YOU ALREADY ARE PERFECT!!!!!!

Make your VISION your NEW story!

Your thoughts create your reality. ...CREATE your reality! So, start speaking the thoughts that are the reality you WANT to be creating!!! Let me explain...

At a recent Abraham-Hicks "Art of Allowing" workshop in Los Angeles (02/03/08) there was a gentleman who got up to speak about his work, and not being able to make a lot of money at it - that being "fettered by money" was his "Achilles heel".... Abraham said, whoa, whoa there, you have to tell a DIFFERENT STORY! The gist of the wisdom was that in order to make money, or achieve anything at all, you have to start telling the story about it in a way that feels good NOW! They went on to say (and I am paraphrasing from memory here) that you cannot expect to keep telling people "I am a ________, but I don't make any money at it" and expect to make money at it! You have to tell the story that is in accordance (in alignment) with the way you WANT it to be. This is not to say that you can make 'pie-in-the-sky' claims that even you don't believe, but that sharing your vision of what is in the PROCESS of becoming is much more powerful than explaining what has been thus far - your "story" (...especially if the story of what has been thus far is NOT exactly what you want)!!

Think of the exuberance of a little kid who has his sights set on getting a new bike for his birthday - you can just hear him telling the world and anyone else who will listen "I'm going to get a new red bike! And it's going to be red, and it has two big wheels, and I can ride it all by myself, and I can go anywhere I want to go, and it's going to be red, and I can ride it really fast and it has cool handle grips, and it's going to be red..." and on and on it goes! Now Abraham would say that the new red bike is in the boy's "Vibrational Escrow" and that it is his excitement, enthusiasm, exuberance, and good-feeling vibration when he tells the "story" of him and his bike that IS the "Art of Allowing" the bike into manifestation. Another way to say it is that the new red bike already exists in the boy's VISION of his own future, and his reality is that it IS on his way to him now. It is his telling of the STORY of the bike coming that is having the effect of allowing it to actually become a reality in his world - it doesn't matter through what channels it actually comes (maybe his grandmother bought it for him, maybe he saved his allowance or earned money doing odd jobs for folks, maybe he won a contest) but it was his own excitement over the idea that what he wanted was a new red bike that gave everyone around him the idea and the potential to fulfill his wish!

Each one of us can do the same thing! And it really is as simple as taking some aspect of our own vision for ourselves (with dreams fulfilled) and making it the story we are telling NOW!

When somebody asks me what I am working on these days, rather than re-iterating again (for the gazillionth time) that things are kinda slow, I can tell them about MY "new red bike" that is alive and well in my vibrational escrow account, and I can say:

"Things are going great - I have clients that I am working with one-on-one, I am making a big difference in people's lives, I am LOVING what I am doing, and I am really excited about how natural it feels for me, I feel like I am actually creating more JOY in the world with the connections I am making both with and for clients and friends alike, my blog is really exciting to me, I am working on some book ideas and even toying with a TV show idea! I love how easy it is for me to communicate to others that they CAN achieve their dreams, that they CAN do it, and I love being the person they turn to when they need a "pick-me-up" because they KNOW that I believe in them! And, I keep having awesome new ideas for services that I think people will really like! My work is poised to bring in a lot of money for me, and it is starting to bloom - it is really neat to be watching it all become something so cool!"

This is all true - it is taken right out of what I "know" about my future and what it will look like when my current dreams are fulfilled - my VISION for myself. There is absolutely NO obligation to re-state any aspect of my "story" that is not as I would like it to be right now. There is NO "truth-in-lending" full-story disclosure police that will come down and haunt my vision... In fact, it is the very insistence to keep repeating the aspects of our stories that we do not like that IS what is haunting us - by making it so our vision cannot manifest itself - because we keep saying it can't!!! (Remember the gentleman above who kept affirming that he doesn't make any money and was wondering why he didn't make any money!) Sound's pretty simple when you think of it that way, doesn't it!!!???

So take a look into your VISION for yourself, for your life, for your work - what will it look like when some of your nearest and dearest dreams are fulfilled? What are your reasons for wanting those goals fulfilled? How does it make you feel? How will you feel when that vision is exactly what you are actually doing?

Now incorporate some aspects of what you see for yourself in your vision (in your own vibrational escrow account) into the story you tell about yourself/your work NOW... Take out any mention of what is not currently to your liking, or, transform it into an aspect that is "becoming" what you want it to be. Develop a "story" about yourself that makes YOU FEEL GOOD when you tell it to someone who asks how you are or what you are up to! ...Even if it is just for yourself - make your VISION your NEW story and see how much faster YOUR new "red bike" starts to show up in your life!

And, if you are up to the challenge, dash off an e-mail to me right now and tell me your NEW story for yourself! What is in YOUR vision for yourself? I know that THAT is who you REALLY are! I believe in YOU - I would LOVE to be the first to hear the REAL story of what you are up to now!!!! Send your NEW story to Andrea@theWANTshop.com

MY world...

My work is based on the idea that MY thoughts create what I experience to be MY reality - in other words, MY thoughts create MY world... I want to share MY world with you:

• MY world is one of abundance for ALL - there is plenty of clean air to breathe, healthy delicious food to eat, and nourishing, life-giving, pure water to drink - plenty...
• In MY reality, all people are learning to live together in harmony, in love, in peace, in kindness, and in mutual respect. In MY world, people are generous of spirit with one another and lift one another up with a smile, a word, a deed, and the knowledge of our inter-connectedness that surpasses all but the thread of love that weaves us...
• In MY world everyone is doing work they LOVE to do - that inspires them, fulfills them, satisfies them, sustains them, and utilizes the unique gifts that we were each put here to use...
• MY world has MORE than enough of everything for everybody who wants it - when something is temporarily in short supply, something NEW will be invented or a new process will take it's place to fill the need...
• In MY reality each of us is living a life of JOY and beauty and love - sure, there may be moments of frustration or challenge, but only so long as it takes to forge new ideas of where to grow from here, to identify what new channel of satisfaction and fulfillment can be created from the new information I am living (and loving) today...
• In MY world there is plenty of gas, homes, wheat, banks, oil, space, land, water, bandwidth, time, money, and resources to fill every need, and, when one of these (or something else) seems to be in short supply, it only means that something EVEN BETTER is on it's way...
• MY reality is such that every cell in my body is perfect, whole, and complete and functioning at optimal levels - I am feeling better and better ALL the time - I am of pure, perfect health and wholeness, and MY world is sustaining me perfectly...
• MY reality is so incredibly rich and abundant and free - in MY world, money is as simple as the energy flow of love and the more I am consciously and consistently sending the energy of love out from me, money is flowing right back in to me. In MY world, this is how it works for everybody - the energy of love is endless and thus, the flow of money is endless...
• In MY world, I am surrounded only by people and situations that are in harmony with my intentions...
• In MY reality I KNOW that there are thousands of examples of "good news" stories for every tragedy I accidentally hear about from a television broadcast - in MY world the media corporations don't televise the good news because there are SO MANY examples and instances that they simply don't have time...
• ALL of my relationships are harmonious in MY world - I am happy and contented and peaceful in my interactions with friends, family, and all the people I come into contact with on a daily basis. My closest relationships are satisfying, fulfilling, loving, joyful, communicative, and enriching - I am in a glorious loving relationship with MY OWN true self, and all others flow harmoniously from there...
  
• In MY world everything I become aware of can be turned around to benefit me, inspire me, teach me, help me to refine the ideas I have about what I want to experience next, and assist me in learning to love more...
• In MY world we are all living EXACTLY the lives we truly want to be living, and if it isn't quite there yet, it just means that it is still on the way and I have MUCH to be excited about!!
  

...And MY world can be YOUR world too!

It is my plan to meditate on this vision of MY world for a moment each morning - to paint the picture of MY reality so firmly in my mind that what I experience can be no other way for me! Law of Attraction tells us that we manifest what we focus upon, and I choose to manifest MY version of reality! I am overcome with gratitude and appreciation that each and every one of us has the freedom to create their own vision in exactly the same way - we can choose to focus on the world the way the TV news would have it be, or we can choose to see it in a more loving and gentle light. It is my belief that as we choose it, so to we experience it - it is an individual choice. YOUR world IS what YOU choose it to be!

As for me, I intend to ONLY see examples of what reflects MY chosen reality back to me!

And so it is.

Get a New Money Mantra!

When the author of "Eat-Pray-Love" was on Oprah, she mentioned the importance of "getting a new mantra"...

And I was just thinking - when one affirms in their head/thoughts of "I need more money" or "I need money for _________ " that is effectively an affirmation or a mantra that has the effect of attracting more things/situations to NEED more money FOR!

...No matter how true the statement "I need more money" may be right now, it is probably best NOT to be constantly affirming that state with our thoughts (which is what repeatedly thinking the thought does to us internally), and rather, switch the thought to something more to the point of what the money is really wanted FOR. Something like: "I am excited about the ability to pay for my daughters private school tuition because x, y, and z." or "I am thrilled about the idea that it always works out for me, so I know that good fortune is turning up to insure my needs are met", or "the health of my family is always my first priority, and I feel peace when I remind myself that there is always a way for us to obtain the best care", or "even if I don't know the solution yet - I do know that it will come to me!", etc.

Some thought that isn't lying to yourself, but also isn't simply re-affirming a "need" that isn't yet fulfilled.

It is said that if one is having a frustrating day, that one should NOT ask for more patience, because that affirmation attracts more challenges with which to strengthen ones patience. It is better to ask for the END-STATE that is desired rather than the means by which we THINK it is to be achieved - in other words, using the above example, in a frustrating situation, ask for more joy, more peace, more appreciation, more love, more contentment, more relief - that way you will be attracting situations which have the effect of generating joy, peace, relief - by the most efficient means - rather than trying to figure HOW to do it ourselves!

So, when you catch the thought "I need money" floating through your head, try to use it as a signal to switch your thought to the REAL end-state you'd like to achieving (health, security, confidence, peace) in using that money. Using money is great - needing it is not. (...and it is not necessarily the only way either - grace comes in many forms!)

Complaints Create Reality...

Truth be told, of course all thoughts create reality! ...But, unfortunately, complaining almost always creates that reality faster, more distinctly, and more powerfully than quietly focusing on desires and wishes does! ...then, it creates even more complaints.

The reason for this is threefold:

1) Complaints are usually issued with powerful emotion, intensity, palpable feelings attached and a great deal of vivid mental imagery. That emotional energy is the fuel for thoughts which are manifested based on how intensely they are envisioned.
2) Complaints are usually repeated to oneself over, and over, and over - strengthening with every iteration. And then, making it even more tangible, complaints are often said aloud to others and to the Universe - thus soliciting further strength in the form of agreement from others, or the "arguing & defending" cycle of interaction which roots the thoughts ever more deeply (by forcing us to hold onto our "position" in the matter).
3) Complaints enhance an existing mental picture of "reality" - a decision about how "reality" IS that must be manifested through the Law of Attraction: That which is likened unto itself is drawn. In other words - you get what you focus on, and complaining is a powerful force of focus!

So, what to do about it???!!

The answer is simple (but not necessarily easy): STOP!

Stop and ask yourself: "What DO I want?"

As soon as you catch yourself complaining (or even indulging in someone else's complaints), simply stop. Try to imagine what experience you would like instead - both in the moment and with regard to the situation or relationship being complained about, and assert THAT instead!

You catch yourself hearing, speaking, thinking or saying something like: "this sucks - I just got laid off, I don't have any more money coming in, I can't afford anything I want anymore, and those jerks at work don't even know what they are doing - they are going to regret this!" STOP! What would you like instead???? Simply beginning to identify and verbalize what you would like instead will begin to put you on the road toward it! Just asking yourself what you would like instead can neutralize the venom of the complaining - YOU have the power!

YOU HAVE THE POWER! YOU! You are a powerful creator, you are a divine and glorious soul who is continuously creating and manifesting the experience you are living just by focusing your attention on it!

Try to keep coming back around to thinking about the experience you would like to have:

"I would like to feel good, and happy, and peaceful, and secure"
"I would like to have a job that I enjoy"
"I would like to feel calm while I am driving, even if there is traffic"
"I would like to be laughing rather than feeling like I want to break something"
"I want to feel fabulous, sexy, svelte, and hot in my clothes"
"I want to KNOW there is enough money for everything I need"
"I want to see evidence and examples of that being true"
"I want to be around happy people"
"I want to feel appreciated at work"
"I want to feel relief"

Identifying what IS wanted is the first step toward having it (and, it is the hardest part!) For many of us, the only thing that is holding us back from the life of our dreams is simply deciding WHAT that IS! So go ahead - next time you catch yourself proclaiming statements about something you DON'T want, try turning it around and take a stab at asserting what you would like instead. You will have just completed the most important part of a positive manifestation (...and, you can always change your mind again later!)

Q & A on visualization, increasing "wanting", and faith...

QUESTION:

"I'm starting to do Grabhorn's "playbook." One thing I found is that I can write all the affirmations but I have a hard time generating the real passionate, exciting feelings about the things I wrote that I want....Also I don't know if you read Shatki's Visualization book, I have a really hard time visualizing....I used to practice Vipassana meditation years ago staying at a monastery in Thailand but I don't practice meditation anymore...however I'm finding doing yoga is like meditation in action....:-) Sorry for the rambling...do you have any suggestions on how to help generate genuine "wanting" feeling and passion about the things I do want? I think it's probably a faith issue or feeling of undeserving. I bet the resistance mostly comes from feeling of undeserving of the "dreams" I dream--or the things I REALLY want happen....!"

ANSWER: Thanks for writing - it's great to hear from you! Personally, I am not a big fan of Grabhorn's Playbook - I LOVED "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting", but I didn't find the playbook that helpful for me to better the use of pure "Law of Attraction" techniques any more effectively.

Two books that I think are MUCH, MUCH, MUCH better are Joe Vitale's "The Attractor Factor" and Dr. Robert Anthony's "Beyond the Power of Positive Thinking".

As far as visualizing goes - chances are you are what is considered an "auditory" or "kinesthetic" learner (meaning you learn and internalize knowledge by hearing it (auditory) or feeling / moving / touching / handling it - more "hand's on" (kinesthetic)). I have read the Gawain book, and though I think it is excellent, it wouldn't do anything for someone who's imagination is more "sounds" or "feelings" based. So don't be too hard on yourself! The yoga would indicate that you are definitely primarily kinesthetic - so you would respond better to finding symbols and touchstones that you could hold and feel, or finding ways to dance/act out/create an actual model of what you want vs. someone else who might visualize (a visual learner). Find a creative way to actually try it/feel it/test-drive it (or something like it).

Also, I wouldn't jump too quickly to thinking that you have a faith issue, or that you subconsciously believe yourself to be undeserving - I don't think that is really it. The truth of who we really are is that we are divinely deserving, and I think your inner self knows that... The best thing I have found for generating a more energetic "wanting" for something is to get really clear and honest with yourself about WHY! ...And then, why that, and why that, and why that, and so on. Go through multiple levels of "why" - for instance: I want my divine right relationship. WHY? Because I want to love and feel loved in return. WHY? Because I like those feelings. WHY? Because it is so fun to be out doing something I enjoy and feeling that way. WHY? Because it is warm, and sweet, and colorful, and the world feels safe. WHY? Because I know that I can handle anything, especially when I have someone to share it with. ...And so on.

Another good thing to try is to take out pen and paper and WRITE a list of all the things that could POSSIBLY be BAD or negative about HAVING what you want. It may feel hard at first, but, believe me, they ARE there in your consciousness (if they weren't, you would have what you wanted already). Try to list at least 20 things - push yourself. Then, AFTER you have 20-30 potential negatives on your list, begin to create a new list where you dismantle each one of them, by writing TWO things that will be even better in your "new" life when you DO have what you want and/or what you would like your truth/reality to be on that subject. For instance: "I want to appear on a national TV show." What could possibly be negative about that? List 20-30 things: "1. Might lose privacy, 2. Might get really busy and not have time for my life, 3. Some people won't like me, 4. Who am I to profess to be an expert on this stuff?, 5., 6.,...,etc. After you complete your list, THEN start a NEW one: 1a) I can use my P.O. box to protect my privacy, 1b) Wayne Dyer still has some privacy - he is a good role model for me, 2a) The Universe won't give me more than I can handle, 2b) I like to be busy, and traveling to speaking engagements would be fun!, etc.

Those are two powerful exercises that will benefit you tremendously. I wish you well - let me know what miracles start to happen!

Peace and Joy,

Andrea

The foundation for ALL good to flow into your life...

Energize you OWN positive aspects!

Focusing your energy and attention on why YOU are awesome is the single best use of your mind and the key to all good flowing more gracefully (and swiftly) into your experience... It is also a fantastic tool to use when you have "asked" for something you want, and you now need to "let it go" and practice the art of allowing to get your self out of the way for receiving it - the elusive "patiently expecting" feeling!

Focus your attention on WHY you deserve it - because YOU are a perfect, precious, beautiful, intelligent, creative, sweet, tender, divine soul!!!!

It is deceptively simple, yet it is truly the foundation for ALL good to flow into your life:

WRITE a list of your OWN positive aspects!

Make a list of at least 25 qualities that you appreciate about YOURSELF - everything that you like and admire about YOU - physically, intellectually, spiritually, your values, your skills, your humor and creativity, who you are as a person/friend/spouse/parent/employee/child... The good qualities that you bring to the interactions you are a part of.

This is a good exercise to do right away, and again as often as possible. It is a wonderful practice to list 5-10 of these qualities to yourself as you are falling off to sleep at night (and also to do with a child as she/he is falling off to sleep - work with them on listing what THEIR best qualities are each night!) It is also an excellent tool to use as a "device" to switch your brain over to something positive when you catch yourself mentally dwelling on something which doesn't feel good (when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts.) I like to do it in my head while I am driving - particularly when I am on my way to do a particular function (think of what my own good "work"/"business" qualities are while I am driving to a job, think of what my good friendship qualities are while I am driving to a lunch date, or think of what my GOOD "money management and stewardship" qualities are while I am driving to do my banking, etc.) Simply looking over the list you wrote down each day is also incredibly powerful!

Have fun with this - write down your own positive qualities, say them out loud while you are driving alone, say them in your head whenever you can - focus on WHY you deserve your own love as often as you can...

Because YOU DO!!!!

ALL of My Relationships are Harmonious...

ALL of my relationships are harmonious, satisfying, fulfilling, fun, joyful, loving, rewarding, intimate, communicative, expressive, peaceful, joyful, loving, joyful, loving, joyful...

ALL of my relationships are satisfying, fulfilling, loving, fun, joyful, harmonious...

ALL of my relationships are joyful, loving, harmonious, satisfying, fulfilling, communicative, expressive, intimate and deeply rewarding...

I say things like this like a mantra, over and over, in my head ALL the time! Especially when the current state of the relationship (or any given relationship) SUCKS - that is when I have to say it the most! ...And you know what? It starts to work. Not instantaneously mind you, but it does start to work! It does require saying it over and over again, enough times in your mind, to where it starts to reach a "critical mass" of thought, but it DOES truly start to change your experience of your relationships - especially the ones closest to you!

So next time you want to "rip that guy's head off" at work, or your spouse grates on your last nerve, or you feel like chucking that crazy girlfriend "out the window", catch yourself and repeat the above affirmations over and over in your head - you don't have to use the exact words, and you don't have to use all of them - just make sure the words you DO use are a clear reflection of positive words you DO want to experience in your relationships! If you can only remember to say harmonious, or satisfying, or fulfilling... that will do! Just start!

I have pulled myself through some pretty dark relationship days with just those words! There have been times when I couldn't come even close to mustering the phony belief that "all my relationships were loving" but I could at least mumble the words to say that they were harmonious (even though that is the LAST thing they seemed to be at the moment!) But it helped! Within a very short time period, they would inevitably start to seem that way again (sometimes it takes longer than others) and then I could start adding even more positive words to the affirmation in my head.

What is actually going on when you say those kind of affirmations over and over (even when you don't believe them) is that you are training your mind to focus on "All harmonious relationships" and both your subconscious and the Universe effectively respond with "Yes - All relationships ARE harmonious!" and then the Law of Attraction manifests that reality into your experience by attracting what you are focusing on. Or, if a person in your life is not in a position to be harmonious with your intention at the time, they will naturally not be around as much until they are.

You can only attract what you are focusing on: If you are focusing your mind on the idea that "that guy is a sick and twisted jerk", you are inadvertently attracting more "sick and twisted jerks" into your life (in every area). And, by the very same token, if you are focusing your mind on the idea that "all my relationships are harmonious, satisfying, fulfilling, loving, peaceful and fun", then you are attracting more of that!

Try it! I think you'll be amazed at the love and joy you have around you RIGHT NOW (even if you can't see it just yet!)

You Can't Give a Horse a "DON'T" Command...

Horses do not understand "Don't _______!" commands. Though horses are exceptional animals, they do not understand, comprehend, process, or react appropriately to any command that starts with "Don't...". They just don't.

If you tell a horse "don't run!", chances are, if anything, he will react to the "RUN" part of the command, and start to run. "Don't trot/stand/stop" are ALL likely to have the opposite effect that you may intend them to have, IF they have any effect at all. The horses' brain is not as complex, advanced, and capable of reasoning as the human brain, and consequently, cannot comprehend and deduce what an appropriate opposite may be to a command that they DO know simply because it is preceded by "don't..." or "no..." or "not...".

...And YOUR subconscious is the same way! In fact, the whole Universe is the same way! Both your subconscious and the Universe are very simple, very literal, very reactive, and very incapable of deciphering what you MAY mean when you make commands that are intended to be the negation of what you really DO want!

Imagine that you are a horse, and that you have a very limited vocabulary of commands that you understand and know what to do when you hear them, things like walk, run, trot, cantor, stop, easy, whoa, etc. Now imagine what it would be like if you could slow down the thought process and witness what goes on when someone issues a "don't" command and you hear: "Don't walk!" So you think to yourself...

"Okay - someone just said "don't walk" - I know what "walk" means, but the word "don't" was in front of it, so that must mean that he wants me to do the opposite of "walk"?! Okay, well, hmmm? What is the opposite of walk? "Run" is the opposite of "walk", maybe I should run? Oh dear, "stop" is also the opposite of "walk", so maybe I should do that? Then again, maybe "don't walk" means it is time to stop and eat - that's the opposite of "walk", right??! Wow, actually, now that I think about it, all this talk of walking is really making me want to walk, so I guess I'll just keep that up. That must be right - it's the most logical conclusion! After all, if he wanted me to do something other than "walk" he should have just said so!!!"

You can imagine that this may be the same kind of "thought" process the Universe goes through when we issue a "don't" command - things like "I don't want to be poor", "I don't want to be fat", "I can't get sick", "I'll only date a non-smoker", "NO cancer/drugs/war/violence/poverty/debt", "Don't do that", "Not this again", "I don't like it"... WHAT is the opposite??! What is it that you DO want????!!!

This is the magic question! Most people do not get what they DO want, because:

1. They don't know what they DO want, or
2. They do not clearly and positively articulate it in their own thoughts and words, and expect the Universe to just "figure it out" for them by doing the opposite of what they don't want.

It's that simple.

So, start to get in the habit of phrasing your desires in the positive, and constantly affirming for yourself what you DO want! Here's a few to get you started:

• "Every cell in my body is perfect, whole and complete, and functioning at optimal levels"
• "I love and approve of myself. I am safe"
• "I want to feel good, be happy and joyful, and know that I am loved"
• "I intend to be more and more (rich, slim, sexy, healthy, happy, relaxed, etc.) every day"

Start thinking ONLY in terms of what you DO want to have, do, be, and experience in your life and relationships. As often as possible seek out words to use which describe what you DO want without using the words which contain what you don't want (drug-free, unscathed, nonviolent), and then, keep your eyes peeled here in the next couple of weeks for some lists of positive words for the main areas we are all working on improving.

Most of all - be happy manifesting what you DO want!

You are 100% RIGHT about the State of Your Life!

I was just watching an old episode of Oprah which featured a British psychologist who created a foundation called the "Happiness Project". On the show he was discussing how the Law of Attraction works to give us each one of us the experience of creating our own life circumstances based not so much on how they "really" are, but on how we perceive them to be... I think what he has to say is fascinating:

"We have beliefs about life, and our perceptions gather evidence to PROVE that our beliefs are correct. So an "optimist" believes that good things can come from bad situations... So then the perception now works over time looking for [evidence to demonstrate] "what is the good that can come of this?" ...That's the function of perception - to teach us that we are RIGHT about EVERYTHING! Hence "pessimists" are RIGHT about life, AND "optimists" are RIGHT about life - it's about how YOU perceive it!"

Wow! So now that that has been said, here is an interesting question to get you thinking a little more about your own perceptions...

Rate the following statement on a scale of 1-7 based on how true it is for you right now, with 7 as absolutely true, and 1 as not true at all:

"If I could live my life over to this point, i would change almost nothing."

Think about that. Really think about it. If you could live your life over and change anything you had complete control over, what would you change? Bear in mind that you cannot get all magical now and live your life over changing what influence other people had, or change situations which were not under your control - it doesn't count to say "if I could live my life over I would make my dad be at home more when I was a kid" or "I would have a better relationship with my mother and help her not to be addicted to pain medication" or "I would have a spouse who didn't cheat on me". As debilitating and challenging as those examples are, they are not within the sole control of the person wishing it had been different. I am ONLY talking about experience, situations or choices that you have made along the way, which were (for the most part at least) exclusively within your control... What would YOU change about the way YOU have lived your life thus far?

When you really think about it, is there really that much? All of your choices up until now are what have made you who you are right now! Anything that you are grateful for in your life right now is, in part, because of the cumulative effects of ALL your past choices - do you really want to take those things out of your life? Talk about perceptions! Take a look at your life from the perspective of what you have learned, and who you have become, and the people who bring joy to your life now, and try to see how past "mistakes" have contributed.

It's really amazing to realize that nothing needs to change for me to be happy about who I am... Try it. I think you'll agree.

LOVE of SELF is the KEY to Attraction

Did anyone see the Oprah Winfrey show from last week on the subject of "Raising Happier Kids"? I sure did, and, though I do not have kids yet, boy am I ever glad I watched! On it, Martha Beck (...One of my heroes - Author of Expecting Adam and How to Find Your Own North Star) was talking about how children learn to love themselves by watching how their parents love themSELVES - not by how the parent loves the child - how the parent loves him or her SELF!!! Wow!

"The ONE thing you can do to teach your children to be happy is to love your OWN life! And then, love for others comes as a natural out pouring after that. If you raise kids and you only love THEM, and NOT YOURSELF, then they grow up to be people who cannot love themselves! ...They don't treat themselves the way YOU treat THEM, they treat themselves the way YOU treat YOU!"

-Martha Beck

Because our children (and everyone else, for that matter) are reflections for and of us, and they are constantly patterning what they see us do (to ourselves), if you demonstrate that you only love them (but not really yourself), then they cannot learn to love themselves (or you, very well), because they've watched you not love yourself!

...And it works this same way for everything! EVERYTHING! Not only the way our children, family, friends, co-workers, and all other people "love" us... But, this same idea also applies to how the UNIVERSE loves us! That is the essence of WHY the Law of Attraction works at different rates (and for different things - positive and negative) for different people!

We HAVE to learn to LOVE ourselves! ...It's the key to everything!!!

If the Universe sees and experiences US loving OURSELVES more and more, then, by the Law of Attraction, the Universe has NO choice BUT to love us more and more - give us even more to LOVE to love about Life and ourselves! It is LAW. ...And, in taking the "action" of actively loving ourselves more, we are effectively living the Law of Allowing as well - opening ourselves up to receive more and more because we are focused on LOVE!

Start RIGHT NOW! Think about something, anything, you love about yourself. Now think of another. And another... Think about it as much and as often as you can! Go to bed tonight thinking about it - try to get yourself to drift off to sleep while you are listing items you love about YOURSELF in your mind's eye... I guarantee that if you do, tomorrow will be a better day. I'm not quite sure HOW it will be, but I guarantee you it WILL be! It may even be a miracle - just like YOU!

God has ONLY 3 possible answers...

There are only 3 possible answers from the Universe for anything we want to create:

1. Yes.
2. Yes, but not right now.
3. I have something even better in mind for you.
   

Notice that "no" is not an option. There is NO "no" in the Universe!

The Universe is a big "YES" machine... The answer is "YES" to anything and everything you intend to create! It may not be right this minute, or it may in fact be leading you to something even better (as yet unknown) in store for you, so it may not seem like that sometimes, but...

The answer is effectively "YES"!

...So keep dreaming, keep imagining, keep visualizing, keep creating!!! What IS in your mind IS what you are creating! The answer is "YES!!" (...or EVEN BETTER!)

Watch the BUT...

I have been thinking about something for weeks now, and that is that I have been noticing my own (and others') tendency to qualify any contentment and gratitude with "..., BUT [followed by a statement about what ISN'T YET RIGHT and could still be better]."

It's really quite uncanny - even in the solitude of my own mental conversations with myself, I seek to moderate my attention toward what is not quite right, or what is still a "work in progress" as to my experience in the moment... Just a matter of minutes ago, I was very happily watching an episode of Oprah from the DVR, but rather than simply enjoy it for 30 minutes as I had planned to, even though everything was fine, and there were no pressing issues, I couldn't stop myself from feeling guilty about the "to do" list which was still "to be done". Or, there is just that little hint of a sinus headache that whispers more concretely than the sound of an old friend's voice on the phone. Even when an accomplishment is finally achieved, my mind is instantaneously 'on to the next thing' without a mere moment to savor the joy of "what is" now.

So, for myself, I am starting to watch my own "but"...

Every time I answer: "Things are pretty good, but..."
Every time I feel or say: "I'm feeling okay, but..."
Every time I hold back my own contentment with the thought: "..., BUT the this, or the that, or the whatever, isn't right / done / fixed / finished / certain yet!"

Why can't I seem to notice, and just be perfectly fine with exactly "what is" right now - enjoy it if it is good, and know that it will pass if it's not - without the stress and anxiety of trying to MAKE the next (ostensibly even better) experience occur immediately??!

What is it that makes it SO EASY to focus on what isn't fantastic yet (and then give power to that which I don't want) by verbalizing it or even thinking about it?

Is it the "don't count your chickens before they're hatched" syndrome?

Resistance.

Resistance is the problem... Resisting what IS. Resisting the acceptance of my immediate experience as perfect the way it is - however it is. (Or maybe, in my case, INSISTING that what it IS, is NOT quite what I want... (and subtly refusing to acknowledge what IS good about it because it is not exactly what I want??)

Unfortunately, the Law of Attraction tells us that what we focus on expands; that that which is likened unto itself is drawn -- that like attracts like. Therefore, my attention on what is "not quite right yet" is creating more of the same -- an experience of "not quite right yet"!

Perhaps what I really should be asking myself is: "What is this trying to teach me?", or "What is good about this?" What I REALLY should be asking myself is: "What do I want to experience instead??!! ...And WHY??!!" "Why" is the most important question, because the answer to it is the FUEL for the creation of what your attention is on. The Universe doesn't care if the energy and emotion is positive or negative, it only draws on the intensity of it, and seeks to manifest more of the subject on which your emotion is strong.

What do I want to feel instead of guilt for watching a favorite program? I want to feel relaxed, happy, content that I have scheduled a little "guilty pleasure" time for myself, open to inspiration from anything that pleasurably holds my attention... WHY? Because I want to feel good, I really like watching that show, I want to feel peaceful, happy, and grateful that I can take that time for myself to do something I enjoy... Suddenly the guilt and tension seem to wash a way a bit, and give way to inspiration, happiness, and a clear consciousness about the "bigger picture" reasons that are (at least partially) behind my actions and choices, and peace. Suddenly I am feeling more of what I want to feel - simply by asking myself what I want to feel and why.

Perhaps there is something to this "Law of Attraction stuff" after all! ;-)

So, watch your own "but..." When you catch yourself saying, thinking, or noticing it - begin to acknowledge what you do like about your current experience, as well as what you may ALSO be wishing to experience instead, and WHY!

(BUT beware: By interrupting the pattern, you will cease the creation of "more of the same" and start moving more quickly toward your inner hearts' desires (even if that desire is a smaller but (derriere!))

An Inverse Corollary???

My friend Karen wrote a great essay on "UN-linking cause and effect" that got me thinking about something that often comes up in philosophical discussions about the Law of Attraction, and it is this: the attempt to explain anything that doesn't work out the way we want it to with an inverse corollary to some aspect of the Law of Attraction or the application thereof.

We want so desperately to find meaning and see the bigger picture, or to know why something didn't work out, or, even worse, want to discover what we must have done wrong, that we try to use the principles of the Law of Attraction to account for and decipher the results in hindsight.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. The Law of Attraction does not function in a vacuum any more than we do... If something doesn't manifest the way we'd hoped, despite our purest and most joyful intentions, despite absolutely pure positive deliberate focus, it is not necessarily an indication of faulty application of the principles of the Law of Attraction (or that the Law of Attraction is faulty)!

If you are reading this, I KNOW that YOU know that already... But humor me here.

Because, even I, a long-time student of the metaphysical principles which include the Law of Attraction, the Law of Allowing, the Law of Deliberate Creation, etc., a professional working expert in this stuff, still catch myself occasionally "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" when I try to analyze why something didn't go my way, and draw conclusions based on that (oversimplified) analysis.

We ALL know that life is more complex than that... And, actually, even the Law of Attraction is more complex than that. Just because the essence of the Law of Attraction lies in seeing something as ALREADY true - imagining it SO FULLY that the sub-conscious mind TRULY believes it to be REAL right now (thus creating a vibration of that reality which magnetizes events, meetings, happenstance, and inspiration to right action that serve to make it true in actual experience) DOESN'T mean that that is ALL that is going on!

In the same way that a person who dies after falling out a window was not killed by the Law of Gravity alone, the Law of Attraction is not SOLELY responsible for what we do (or don't) manifest for ourselves.

Still, that doesn't mean that we won't benefit by learning more and more about it, and honing our skills to apply the principles deliberately. Then, rather than blame the Law if we fall, we might instead be able to use it more effectively to help us to FLY!

Testing your Mettle

The Universe has a way of testing your mettle at the VERY moment you are on the verge of something you have been waiting for, wishing/hoping/dreaming about, or are just about to manifest for yourself.

As soon as you have definitely committed to a goal, or, even worse, right when you are "on the brink" of something good, or something great, or something perfect, or EXACTLY what you want/need for where you want to go in life... It happens - the Universe will toss an obstacle, or a distraction, or a temptation your way, and typically make it VERY EASY for you to back out of the opportunity or settle for something else that's "not quite right".

"The Universe will ALWAYS give you EXACTLY what you are WILLING to settle for..."

Unfortunately, I have seen this time and time again, both in my own life as well as in the lives of my friends... Just this week I have first-hand knowledge of 3 or 4 occurrences in the lives of people I know well!

• My mom, having recently made an absolute commitment to getting healthy and trimming down, and having carefully built up a good habit of exercising every day for a month or so (to the point where results are just visible) slipped and broke her shoulder...
• A friend, hemming and hawing over whether he is going to move from NY to LA or not, finally decides "YES! I am going to move to LA!" and is visiting to interview and make plans today - the ONLY day it has rained in months...
• A client whose primary intention is to be in a good, loving relationship, who is focused on that ONE aim in our sessions together, has an opportunity to attend a class with a very high probability of being the EXACT thing she needs to further her goal, decides she is too tired to attend after having car trouble earlier in the day...
  
• Another friend is building up his business in the healing arts, is making really good progress, and then gets a tempting job offer that pays really well in his OLD industry...
  

Now all of these examples may seem like coincidences, they may even seem like "messages" or "signs" from on high that the original goal/intention/aim is not the right one for us, that perhaps we 'really should be' going a different direction...

I don't think so!

In my experience with consciously using the Law of Attraction and the power of intention, I say that it is EXACTLY the opposite! I say that when the Universe throws us these curve balls it is actually an indicator for us to RUN EVEN FASTER toward the original goal - be EVEN MORE DEDICATED to the results you are consciously creating and attracting! In a way, the Universe is testing us to see just how committed we really are to our own visions!!!!

Do NOT be deterred!

These "tests" are not malicious - it is more like forging steel to make it stronger. The loving and abundant Universe is actually TRYING to give you exactly what you want. You may say that you want more money, a relationship, to lose weight, more business, to have more fun, etc., but, somewhere in your subconscious/unconscious mind, maybe that isn't quite accurate. So, when you start to take action toward that goal (or any goal) that action (or progress) upsets the equilibrium of how 'it has always been', the stasis, our comfort zones... Now the part of us who is afraid that there may be 'no turning back' wants to put on the brakes and slow it down a bit (if only subconsciously) and starts to attract occurrences which give us the opportunity to bail out. Literally, giving us a "legitimate" reason to stop short of the goal and declare it "good enough". It takes energy, effort and focused attention to align our intentions with our subconscious motivations. Unfortunately, it is VERY DIFFICULT for us to see or know WHAT our subconscious/unconscious motivations ARE...

THAT is what the "tests" are! These obstacles, temptations, and challenges that the Universe gives us to test our mettle are the physical manifestations of our subconscious motivations coming to light (coming to LIFE) - manifested to focus our attention to how WE are unconsciously blocking OURSELVES from what we consciously think we want!

The real question is what are you going to do about it? So what if the Universe gave you a flat tire? Can you ask a friend to drive you to that important event? So what if you have a sprained ankle? Are you going to do sit-ups and work out with dumb-bells anyway? So what if I have a big expense right when I was trying to manifest more money? Can I find a way to clear the part of me that is attracting it? So what if a friend is doing something you wish you were doing instead? Are you going to go out and do something even better yourself?

Yes. There IS something in your way... But you have the power to go around/over/under/through or clear that obstacle and use it as a cue to focus your intention even more clearly - strengthen that vision, clear your unconscious, take an even more courageous action to honor your heart's desire. Strengthen your determination!

Don't negotiate with yourself by allowing the "curve balls" to re-negotiate your desires for you!

The more we exhibit determination and commitment to our goals and intentions, the more we use the feedback we are being given by the Universe to strengthen our focus and vision on what we truly want to be experiencing, the faster is HAS to come! The Universe is giving us exactly what we need to be able to forge our dreams into physical world reality - the Universe is pointing out where the weak spots are and where we may not be in complete alignment so we can do something about it!

...Literally SO we CAN have the vibrant life we TRULY dream of!