What do *I* really want?

It is SO easy to think "as soon as he does this, then I will be happy and able to do that" or, "when X finally happens, then I can know that it is possible for me to do Y" or, a real biggie, "when I have the $$$, then I can ________!" And, even reading those sentences, it seems as if there is some legitimacy to thinking that way, at least in some situations... Doesn't it?

But what if it is the other way around? What if, in the grand scheme of things, it HAS to be the other way around?

What if you MUST start doing that BEFORE you can be happy / he will do whatever this is?
What if you MUST be doing Y before X can even BEGIN to happen?
What if you MUST start working toward ________ BEFORE you can get any $$ for it?

...What if you need to decide in YOUR heart that you WANT the promotion at work before the idea can even be planted in the minds of your superiors?
...What if you need to remember for yourself how intensely lovable he already IS before the thought even occurs to him to bring you flowers?
...What if you want to start to make a dream come true so badly that you have to actually start working on it without funding to prove to the Universe that you are really serious before a mere idea of how to attract some money from it will materialize?

What if the act of me deciding specifically what I want (and why I want it) will affect some condition that seemingly has nothing to do with me that will then enable my desire to come about?

This seems to be the case in a story I have recently experienced first hand: My husband has been trying to decide between three job offers he has. Now to me, it seems as if it is a total no-brainer - I mean, hands-down, no questions asked, one of the three choices is a clear winner for us - it is everything we have wanted, and more! ...At least, that is how *I* see it. But, mystifyingly to me, he is not so clear on what is "obviously" the winning choice. So I started to wonder what could be going on here? Why is it that something so clear to me is not so clear to him? It got me to thinking about how we have to "pay the piper" in advance in a life of attraction - the Universe requires us to pony up our OWN enthusiasm BEFORE it will see fit to give us what we want... In fact, that is HOW the Universe KNOWS what we want! I started to wonder if my husband was simply being a little microcosm of the Universe reflecting back to me my OWN waffling with regard to what I truly want in my life??? So I tried a little experiment - I started listing in my own mind the benefits of the job offer I wanted him to want... Listing the what and the why...

I love the city I'm living in! Why? I love the beach, I love the weather, I love my friends, I love the organizations I am a part of, I love my sense of home, I love being near my family...
I love my career here! Why? I love that I am in charge of my own schedule, I love that I have contacts and clients and friends here who are pulling for me, believe in me, and want me to succeed, I love that I am making money doing what I love to do, and it is all through word of mouth referrals, I love that my vast network of friends here all want to assist me, I love that the Universe is sending me both resources and ideas easily because I am happy here...
I love my lifestyle! Why? I love that I live in a bright, airy, warm, beautiful house that is close to so many amenities I appreciate, I love that I can walk to the beach, I love that I can walk to at least 12 restaurants that I enjoy (and three little markets, too) and that 100's more are within a handful of miles, I love that I work from my house and my house is a nice place to be, I love that this is my reality, and that appreciating it comes very easily to me!

On the other hand, I know someone else whose life is made up of three part-time jobs: As an under-appreciated paralegal in a law firm to pay the bills, a web programmer, and a jewelry designer. What she really wants is one full-time career doing one of the jobs (Owning her own business in the web world, I think). But, because she also likes at least one of the other two (jewelry designing, and selling a bit of it here and there on one of her web sites (and, if you can listen through her complaining and refusal to quit the paralegal gig, I suspect she secretly likes it too, if only because it is the "devil she knows" and quitting is too scary for her!!!)) Anyway, her intention is to keep her options open in case her first choice doesn't pan out. I see the nobility of her desire, I see that she would be perfectly happy with the 2nd choice career rather than the first (if, as she says, she could "make it" as a jewelry designer at a sustainable level), and I see that she really IS trying to succeed (at all three jobs!!) But, what I don't see is the passion she says she has for the first-choice job really pushed full-throttle toward doing that one! (And that one only!) ...And I am convinced that the Universe only really reacts to the kind of passion that will not be dissuaded - it's as if the Universe can feel it when "no less will do" and then, in response to the seriousness of the command, it really gets busy! I keep trying to encourage her to really focus on just the one - not to stop doing the others necessarily, because she gets more of her income from the paralegal gig, but, to use ALL of her mental power, imagination, and intention to simply concentrate on the one that is her first choice! Yeah, maybe she spends some time doing the others, but when it comes to what she is eating, sleeping, thinking, dreaming, and most of all, SPEAKING to others about, with regard to what she is doing - the focus MUST be on the ONE that she really wants! I try to encourage her to temporarily set aside the one that is both the least profitable AND not the most powerful desire (the jewelry) and focus every bit of attention she has on the web work - to the exclusion of even social engagements or other extra-curricular activities - for a month, or two, just to see what happens. I think that if she REALLY focused on ONE desire - focusing on what she wants and WHY she wants it - she would see some startling results! But, alas, so far this is only a theory, as she hasn't taken my advice. Well see, maybe she will, one of these days, and "suddenly" go from being a starving hopeful to being an "overnight" success??!! I'll keep you posted...

...There is a phrase that says: "Yes, you CAN have it all - just not all at the same time!" and I think that is very true!

One final illustration to convey my point on FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS: I was asked for advice from someone who was looking for a job, and he said that he was good at x, y and z. (I don't remember what the x, y, and z actually were, but they were disparate skills.) Now I know that he meant that he could happily do any of those things - not that he wanted to do them all simultaneously, but, my first thought was yikes - those things are entirely different job categories! Unfortunately, the UNIVERSE IS VERY LITERAL! As much as we like to think that the Universe MUST know that what we really mean is to only do the one that is the favorite, the fact of the matter is that the Universe really responds the same way my first impression did with regard to the potential job seeker: I don't know of ANY jobs where you do x, y, AND z!!! ...Or, if I can think of one, it's going to take me a LONG time to find it for ya!

Whew! ...So I guess I have to get really clear on what I MOST want and why I want it before I can expect the Universe to help me out, huh?

Then, mere hours after starting this post, as if in answer to my ponderings, the Universe influenced my husband by sweetening the deal for him, leading him to the aforementioned "obvious" conclusion, and he accepted the perfect job for him (and the perfect situation for me!) This may seem like a coincidence to many, but, for any who know my husband's remarkable ability to waffle on a decision, this was a miracle! (...One that you and I both know was made possible by MY connection with MY desire and enthusiasm for it!)

Wishing you ALL the same power of joy, confidence, connection, enthusiasm, and miracles that come with focusing on ONE dream, ONE desire, ONE goal at a time - giving YOURSELF the gift of getting really clear on why you want it - the Universe will do the rest!

Make your VISION your NEW story!

Your thoughts create your reality. ...CREATE your reality! So, start speaking the thoughts that are the reality you WANT to be creating!!! Let me explain...

At a recent Abraham-Hicks "Art of Allowing" workshop in Los Angeles (02/03/08) there was a gentleman who got up to speak about his work, and not being able to make a lot of money at it - that being "fettered by money" was his "Achilles heel".... Abraham said, whoa, whoa there, you have to tell a DIFFERENT STORY! The gist of the wisdom was that in order to make money, or achieve anything at all, you have to start telling the story about it in a way that feels good NOW! They went on to say (and I am paraphrasing from memory here) that you cannot expect to keep telling people "I am a ________, but I don't make any money at it" and expect to make money at it! You have to tell the story that is in accordance (in alignment) with the way you WANT it to be. This is not to say that you can make 'pie-in-the-sky' claims that even you don't believe, but that sharing your vision of what is in the PROCESS of becoming is much more powerful than explaining what has been thus far - your "story" (...especially if the story of what has been thus far is NOT exactly what you want)!!

Think of the exuberance of a little kid who has his sights set on getting a new bike for his birthday - you can just hear him telling the world and anyone else who will listen "I'm going to get a new red bike! And it's going to be red, and it has two big wheels, and I can ride it all by myself, and I can go anywhere I want to go, and it's going to be red, and I can ride it really fast and it has cool handle grips, and it's going to be red..." and on and on it goes! Now Abraham would say that the new red bike is in the boy's "Vibrational Escrow" and that it is his excitement, enthusiasm, exuberance, and good-feeling vibration when he tells the "story" of him and his bike that IS the "Art of Allowing" the bike into manifestation. Another way to say it is that the new red bike already exists in the boy's VISION of his own future, and his reality is that it IS on his way to him now. It is his telling of the STORY of the bike coming that is having the effect of allowing it to actually become a reality in his world - it doesn't matter through what channels it actually comes (maybe his grandmother bought it for him, maybe he saved his allowance or earned money doing odd jobs for folks, maybe he won a contest) but it was his own excitement over the idea that what he wanted was a new red bike that gave everyone around him the idea and the potential to fulfill his wish!

Each one of us can do the same thing! And it really is as simple as taking some aspect of our own vision for ourselves (with dreams fulfilled) and making it the story we are telling NOW!

When somebody asks me what I am working on these days, rather than re-iterating again (for the gazillionth time) that things are kinda slow, I can tell them about MY "new red bike" that is alive and well in my vibrational escrow account, and I can say:

"Things are going great - I have clients that I am working with one-on-one, I am making a big difference in people's lives, I am LOVING what I am doing, and I am really excited about how natural it feels for me, I feel like I am actually creating more JOY in the world with the connections I am making both with and for clients and friends alike, my blog is really exciting to me, I am working on some book ideas and even toying with a TV show idea! I love how easy it is for me to communicate to others that they CAN achieve their dreams, that they CAN do it, and I love being the person they turn to when they need a "pick-me-up" because they KNOW that I believe in them! And, I keep having awesome new ideas for services that I think people will really like! My work is poised to bring in a lot of money for me, and it is starting to bloom - it is really neat to be watching it all become something so cool!"

This is all true - it is taken right out of what I "know" about my future and what it will look like when my current dreams are fulfilled - my VISION for myself. There is absolutely NO obligation to re-state any aspect of my "story" that is not as I would like it to be right now. There is NO "truth-in-lending" full-story disclosure police that will come down and haunt my vision... In fact, it is the very insistence to keep repeating the aspects of our stories that we do not like that IS what is haunting us - by making it so our vision cannot manifest itself - because we keep saying it can't!!! (Remember the gentleman above who kept affirming that he doesn't make any money and was wondering why he didn't make any money!) Sound's pretty simple when you think of it that way, doesn't it!!!???

So take a look into your VISION for yourself, for your life, for your work - what will it look like when some of your nearest and dearest dreams are fulfilled? What are your reasons for wanting those goals fulfilled? How does it make you feel? How will you feel when that vision is exactly what you are actually doing?

Now incorporate some aspects of what you see for yourself in your vision (in your own vibrational escrow account) into the story you tell about yourself/your work NOW... Take out any mention of what is not currently to your liking, or, transform it into an aspect that is "becoming" what you want it to be. Develop a "story" about yourself that makes YOU FEEL GOOD when you tell it to someone who asks how you are or what you are up to! ...Even if it is just for yourself - make your VISION your NEW story and see how much faster YOUR new "red bike" starts to show up in your life!

And, if you are up to the challenge, dash off an e-mail to me right now and tell me your NEW story for yourself! What is in YOUR vision for yourself? I know that THAT is who you REALLY are! I believe in YOU - I would LOVE to be the first to hear the REAL story of what you are up to now!!!! Send your NEW story to Andrea@theWANTshop.com

What are you focusing on?

No, REALLY, what are you focusing on??!

Try this little exercise: Think of a couple of areas in your life in which you have goals and/or ideally you wish some improvements were made… Perhaps your job, the state of your home (I mean its organizational appearance as opposed to the area of the country you live in – but either, if a problem, will do), maybe how much fun & recreation you are getting these days, your health, your social life/personal relationships, money, money, money, finances, money…

Now, for each one of those areas that you’d like to improve a bit, what is the FIRST image that pops to mind when you think of it?

Be really honest here – it is a matter of life and death to your true desires! ...WHY does that aspect of life need improving?

If you are like most people, myself included, the chances are that the VERY FIRST image that comes to mind when you think of those areas (on the subjects that need some improvement) is what is wrong with them, or, what you DO NOT have.

• When I think of my house, the FIRST thought that comes to mind is that it is a mess…
• When I think of money, my mind instantly races to the bills that need to be paid…
• When I think of my body/health, I can just feel the little roll over the top of my jeans and my sore back…

…And I am not alone! I have many a friend, who, when asked about his or her love life, will almost instantaneously reply that there isn’t one before I have even finished the question!

THAT is what you are focusing on! (And, THAT is what you are creating more of!)

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like, and that what we think about expands. If you have seen The Secret, you have heard the expression that "where attention goes, energy flows". Well, those pictures, images and feelings that flash across your mind when you think of a subject ARE where YOUR ATTENTION is going! …THAT is what you are focusing on, and, consequently, it is what you are getting more of in your life. Bummer.

The antidote is to start to form pictures in your mind of what you DO WANT in those life areas… Each time you catch yourself snapping to the depression inducing woes of what is wrong, say to yourself: “That is not my reality! My reality is ______” and form a vision of what it might look like if it already WAS they way you DO WANT it to be!

• Envision what your house would look like if it were neat and organized…
• Picture your “accounts payable” box as empty and a lovely sum on your bank statement…
• Imagine what it would feel like for your clothes to be loose, and to be totally healthy…
• Compose an image in your mind of being with that special someone and filled with joy…

It’s easier said than done, I know. But it has GOT to be better than spending the kind of time I have been spending picturing (focusing on) exactly what I don’t want and expecting the opposite of that to suddenly just appear!

...I'll let you know when my house is clean.

Start BEING it NOW!

I just heard from a friend of mine who FINALLY booked a co-starring role on a prime time NBC show...

I have been coaching him in his career for quite some time, and for the last few months, I had been asking him what would be different when he finally "made it"?

The one point that came up again and again (other than to simply focus all of his attention on the ONE career aspiration of acting rather than scatter his energy with multiple career possibilities) was that he needed to be a member of SAG. He had almost every excuse in the book for why he wasn't yet a member, even though he finally became eligible well over a year ago. "...It's too expensive! ...I can't afford it until I book a big job! ...I might not get as many auditions if I am limited to SAG auditions! ...What if I join, and then never book anything? ...If a director really wants me, but needs me to be SAG, then I'll join!" And on, and on, and on...

I tried to explain to him that FOR HIM joining SAG was going to have to be a pre-requisite to his success, rather than something he would do after said success! Because the SAG membership was so important to him, in order to ATTRACT "the holy grail" of his goal (the SAG membership), he was going to have to start BEING it (a SAG actor) BEFORE it could find him. In other words, he had to take the leap of faith and assert to the Universe that he believed in his own heart that he was ALREADY a SAG caliber actor, and join, on his own, before the Universe could reward him with the benefits of that membership. ...He had to BE a member in his OWN belief system (and for him that meant taking the leap of faith and paying for the membership himself for it to be official) before the Universe could then say "YES! You are a SAG actor, and now you will receive SAG parts!"

Who or what are you waiting to anoint you as "ready and qualified" to BE the person you want to be or to be having the experience you want to have?

What can you do to "take a leap of faith" and start BEING it NOW?