Editing your "Ideal Mate" list...

I was recently conversing with some people who are actively working on attracting their life partner/ideal mate into their lives... The conversation got around to 1) how important it is to have a list of the qualities you desire to find in your ideal mate, and, 2) how even MORE important it is to EDIT the list so it's not TOO specific!!!

Sounds like a bit of a double bind doesn't it!

One reason I am a fan of editing a very detailed list is NOT because I do not think it is perfectly acceptable and valid to both want and hold out for EXACTLY what you desire in a mate - because I fervently believe that you DESERVE exactly what your heart most wants! However, I have a theory that the element of "TIME" is also a quality to be added to the list!

In other words, I believe that the Universe is trying to give you EXACTLY what you want in a partner, but, when that "recipe" of qualifications is super-specific, it may take quite a while for the Universe to orchestrate the 3 requirements for putting the two of you together:

1. Identifying and locating the precise person to match to your desires
2. Freeing that person from any commitments he/she may be involved in currently
3. Getting the two of you BOTH in physical proximity to one another

Therefore, in attempt to give you exactly what you want, the Universe may be working on it as FAST as it possibly can, but it still may take a Looooooooonnnnnggggg time. Unfortunately.

But, have heart, there ARE some possible solutions though! That is where careful editing comes into the equation! The trick is to carefully edit out that which is not a deal-breaker for you, while keeping in the qualities which are very important to the fulfilling and satisfying, loving and joyful intimate relationship you are seeking to create and attract!

Sensitive editing is a multi-step process, and I will go into one of the steps (the one I believe is the most fruitful and important) thoroughly here. If you want more information on the other two that are mentioned, you can send me an e-mail, but I think you'll get the gist of it!

STEP 1
(After you have created a list of all the qualities you want in a partner...) The BEST BEST BEST thing you can do with your "ideal mate" list is go through each and every item on the list, and come up with a few reasons WHY you want that particular quality in your partner. There is no wrong/bad answer, but it is important for you to be honest with YOU, because it is YOUR inner being that is doing the "wanting" and your conscious mind has to get up to speed with believing it's both possible and legitimate to want/have that (and the first step of that is knowing why you want it in the first place, and not secretly believing that you are being frivolous!)

For instance, when I was still looking for my husband, at 6' tall myself, I really wanted to find someone tall. However, I heard from SO many people throughout my life that said things like "but what if you fall in love with someone shorter than you?" or "you know, that's going to eliminate a HUGE percentage of the population" or "what does it say about you that you think you can only love someone who is taller than you?!" ...Oh, the peanut gallery - so many people, so quick to judge when they don't even have what I want themselves, so why on Earth should I have listened to them in the first place??!! But I did, on some level at least, so I had to get really specific and honest with myself about WHY I wanted what I wanted - and it took courage - standing up for the quiet voice of what your own heart really wants is almost never easy! ...Not when the peanut gallery is around! So I took a long walk with my voice recorder (I do my best reflection when I am mindlessly engaged in something that doesn't take thought of it's own (walking, showering, even writing - but sitting down to JUST think doesn't get me very far!)) and asked myself that question: "WHY do I want "my guy" to be taller than me?"

I came up with answers that may seem frivolous or shallow or silly to other people, but, they were what MY heart wanted, what inspired the feelings that *I* wanted to feel when I was with "my guy" - and *THAT* is the important part for each of us to identify when we are trying to attract someone/something as important as a mate into our lives! The more honest you are with yourself now, the stronger foundation you will have for happiness later, because other people are far from perfect all the time, and you will want to reference back to why you wanted "this" in the days ahead! ...So, I listed all the answers I could come up with, things like:

• "I want to feel somewhat petite when I am with my guy - I am tired of feeling "big" around men, and I want to feel feminine with him"
• "I want him to wear bigger clothes sizes than I do - I want my under things to be the smallest items in the laundry - I feel happy about my own body when that is true"
• "I want to feel like we "match" one another, like we "go" together"
• (...a big one) "I hated it when I was with boyfriend-X and people stared at us because I was 4" taller than him - that felt really yucky, I didn't like how *I* felt in that situation, and I want to feel proud, happy and confident walking down the street!" (that particular boyfriend was very important in my life in other ways at the time, but I digress)
• "I like the feeling of both of us "blending in" with the rest of the people in my extended family photos"
• "I want to be very physically attracted to my mate, and I am really only physically attracted to tall men!"
• "Spooning is SO much better when the guy is bigger than me!"
• ...Etc. etc. etc. - there were more, but you get the idea!
  

I listed A LOT of things, because this was a hot button for me! I basically had to remind and convince myself that I was worthy of having my mate be in line with my desires on that topic, AND why it really was valid to feel that way. ...And, the more reasons "why" I listed, the more I knew which qualities were really important to me!

This exercise may take quite a while, but it is SO worth it!! After you have you have thoroughly identified WHY you care about each quality, you will have a much better idea of how to rank them (we'll get to "ranking" in step 3 below). Another benefit of this "why" exercise is to give you a sense of what qualities you might want to strengthen or cultivate in yourself, rather than waiting for your mate to bring them to the table... For me, these were things like career confidence/earning power, as well as DIY/fix-it ability for projects around the house (just to name a couple). Part of me had been waiting for "him" to fill in those gaps, then, when I started to just work on them myself, I lost that sense of "needing" him to "be that" FOR me. 'Needing' and 'desiring' are two very different energies... Any quality that is on your "ideal partner/mate" list should be there because you prefer that quality in people close to you, not because you are missing it entirely. ...If you are missing it entirely, you may want to consider the virtues of paying a professional to help you with it rather than hoping your partner will fill that void (with the possible exception of sex, perhaps!)

Whew! Long answer to what is actually a very simple (though time consuming) exercise! Now for step 2 in the editing process...

STEP 2
Time is a factor... Look over the qualities in your list and get a sense of which ones would fall into these two categories:

• Category A) Qualities I MUST have in a partner, no matter how long it takes
  
• Category B) I would rather have him/her in my life NOW than wait for someone with this quality

Ask yourself: "Would I rather have a mate with this quality, or would I rather have someone immediately, without this quality?" (...pretend that you must choose between those two options (ultimately, you may not have to, but think about the priorities as if you do!)) The point here is not to eliminate any of your desired qualities necessarily, but to get REALLY honest with yourself about what is most important to you! It may be that you want someone who is your idea of perfect, and you are willing to wait for that, and that is fine... But, if you factor time into the equation, it may be that you want to get on with experiencing your life with a loving companion right away, in which case maybe he/she doesn't need to be "perfect"? It's up to you - it's your own most deeply held heart's desires that are dictating this connection (and WHEN it may happen!)

STEP 3
Now that you have gotten really honest with yourself, you know what you want, why you want it, and how important it is to you to meet him/her now vs. how long you can wait for your perfect someone to come along... A good way to quantify this new knowledge is to rank all the qualities of your ideal mate into an A-list, a B-list, and a C-list.

Your A-list are the absolute MUST haves - the total deal-breakers if your mate did not have these qualities... Sexual orientation and gender are good examples of A-list items! All the items that you decided you were willing to wait for as long as it takes (Category A from step 2, above) are definitely A-list qualities. For me, "my guy" had to be tall, so that was an A-list item. Some other A-list items on my own list, or the lists of some of my friends included items as diverse as "clean-breather" (non-smoker without the emphasis on the very act she was trying NOT to attract), "omnivore" (from a friend's list who valued eating all kinds of food and wanted to share that activity with his future wife), "family-oriented and wants kids" (for someone who has a very close relationship with her own family and definitely wanted to have children of her own), or "sports fan" (from the list of a guy I know who lives sports day-in and day-out)...

That last example could be a trait that might fall into a B-list or even a C-list item for someone else. B-list items are ones that you really do want in a partner, but maybe there is a little latitude in your willingness for them to learn or develop that hobby/interest/trait, or perhaps they do have that quality, but not to the same degree that you do, or maybe they are the "category B" items (from step 2, above) - the qualities you definitely want, but, if you had to choose, you'd rather have your partner NOW than wait for these "B-list" traits...

The C-list items are the ones that are just icing on the cake... "It would be great if he liked going wine-tasting, but it's alright if he doesn't - I don't 'need' to do that with my guy to be happy", or "It would be really cool if she was a volleyball fan, but she doesn't have to be as long as she is happy doing her own thing when I go play", and the like. The C-list items are items that you could almost scratch off the list entirely, but, just to make sure that the Universe knows what your preference is, they are still on the list. They are preferences, but if it came down to it, you would absolutely choose to have your partner RIGHT AWAY rather than wait for these type of traits.

****

The good news is that you CANNOT get it wrong! ...Your dreams are God's dreams FOR YOU! The entire Universe is conspiring to give you exactly what you want in a mate. Perhaps the next one who comes along will be that very person, or maybe he/she will be fun for a little while and end up helping you to realize that there is an important quality that should have been on your "ideal mate" list... Everyone you meet can help you clarify what kind of experience YOU want to have in your relationships! Every person you come in contact with is getting you closer and closer - it is impossible to make a mistake when YOU are attracting the very people who help you to recognize what it is YOU really want in a partner!

The long and the short of it is that the Universe IS trying to give you exactly what your heart wants, and you DESERVE to experience that!!! Life is supposed to be joyful and fun, and sharing ones life experience with a loving partner is a HUGE component of that! ...And, your ideal mate is trying to find YOU just as much as you are trying to find them! The point of editing your list is to put you in the energetic vicinity of your mate as soon as possible, so that you can get on with it and live the joyful life you are meant to live!

Until he/she finds you, just keep working on strengthening the qualities on your "ideal mate" list in YOURSELF, and have as much fun as possible in your own life... Soon, you will be just going about your day and "Poof!" your mate will be standing right in front of you (though you may not know it right away!) It WILL happen - it IS happening now!

Meanwhile...

At a recent Abraham-Hicks “Art of Allowing” workshop in Los Angeles, I again found that the questions on my mind always seem to be asked and answered no matter who is verbalizing the actual words! This is the response to a questioner asking how he could orient his thinking when he starts to feel discouraged that what he wants isn’t coming fast enough:

"…[Say to yourself] I’m on track, I’m doing pretty good, I’ve got another “30-day extension”! I’m happy most of the time, and when I’m not, I can feel it... And, some things in my life, I CAN see the evidence of my improved vibrational alignment! And, I’m dreaming big, and big dreams, from my point of view, sometimes take a little longer, and maybe that’s something that I need to work at in my vibration, but meanwhile, I am sure that these things that I am asking for are giving me a reason to focus that are going to give me payoffs on many other things! I have a feeling that my vibrational escrow is much bigger than I can even conceive of, and I know that the Law of Attraction is responding to the vibration that I am emitting, and I am willing to use THAT guidance - I am happy to use that POST-manifestational awareness! In others words, I am saying that “I’m happy” and I’m also saying “that it’s not happening fast enough”, so the manifestation that is ‘not happening’ shows me that I am not offering the vibration that maybe I think I’m offering, and so I’m willing to clean it up a little more, and clean it up a little more, and I can feel that ‘discouragement’ is not my friend! Even though I sometimes feel discouraged... I can feel that ‘encouragement’ IS my friend, I can feel that discouragement is not my friend, and hope is my friend - and there’s nothing wrong with being discouraged, but I WANT to be more hopeful! And I acknowledge that I am feeling pretty good most of the time, but I also acknowledge that there is more that I can do - and I’m willing to do it, I’m wanting to do it, I’m eager to do it! I don’t need the manifestation to happen in order to be happy - THAT is what I am coming forth in order to live, and learn, and teach! I don’t have to wait to get to the ending place in order to celebrate the journey that I have taken; my celebration is every step along the way! Look at me!"

--Abraham-Hicks February 2, 2008

The reason I went to the trouble of transcribing and posting this quote myself is because it inspired me and reminded me to keep my own chin up! …It allowed me to remember that my only work is to see it, believe it, and know it’s on it’s way – whatever “it” is! My work, in fact the only work that any of us need do is to soothe ourselves into the frame of mind such that we KNOW we are on track, we KNOW it’s a “done deal” already, and we KNOW that our future reality is safe, secure, and delicious! …We know it because we can find the thoughts with regard to what we are in the process of creating that feel good when we think them – simply “talking ourselves into it” so to speak!

Try doing what I did this evening: Read the above quote over a few times (or 20) and FEEL yourself as the one speaking it… Imagine it is YOU who is uttering these exact words, and let them seep into your truth… Find the ways that this quote, as spoken, is ALREADY EXACTLY CORRECT in your life right now…

• The dreams you have ARE big dreams!
• They MIGHT take a little more time!
• You DO know they are coming!
• You DO have every reason to feel encouraged!
• You CAN clean up your vibration on anything that’s still sticky!
• You DO feel pretty good most of the time!
• You ARE living, learning and teaching along the way!
• The journey of creation really IS fun and a celebration in itself!

FEEL it as REAL for you NOW!!! …Because it IS!

You are perfect!

You are perfect, just as you are.

You are beauty and love embodied. You are the breath and essence of God. You are special and integral and the ONLY you that has ever lived.

You are here for a reason.

The dreams that flicker in your heart are part of your purpose, and you are meant to fulfill them, if only for the pure JOY of doing so, if only for you.

No matter what conditions might be obfuscating your ability to know these truths, take just a moment to exhale and feel your being...

YOU are divine.

The economy is GREAT!

…Great for fine-tuning my awareness of what I am creating for MYSELF that is!

The other night I was thinking about the economy: The "deplorable" value of the US dollar on the world market, the US National debt and the thousands of dollars each and every one of us in the United States is paying in interest to service that debt – thinking about it all got me SO discouraged, SO down, and SO angry!!! I should have known that I was on the wrong track right there, but, I had been in a conversation in which I was trying to prove to someone else [NOTE TO SELF: trying to prove anything to anybody is the opposite of alignment on the subject (for future reference!)] But, I was trying to prove that there is a problem in our country! The person I was speaking with is a dogmatic “all taxes are bad taxes” kind of political thinker, and I was trying to convince him of how “bad” it’s getting out there – foreclosures, credit-card debt, gas prices, food costs, jobs, uuuuhhhg… I was deeply entrenched in the (false) belief that the situation is dire, and that was ALL I could see! I was so “spitting-nails” angry that I excused myself from the conversation and gave myself a time-out to try to re-focus my thoughts…

WHOA, Nellie!!! What am I doing to myself here???!

After a little while I remembered (NEWSFLASH) that our thoughts create our own reality, and asked myself:

• “What am I creating here?”
• “What reality am I creating for myself by marinating in these kind of doomsday thoughts?”
• “What am I creating for myself by trying to PROVE this point?”
• “Why am I arguing FOR limitations that I don't even suffer too badly from?”
• “What kind of situation is all this emotionally-charged worrying scripting for me?”

Then, after a long pause, miraculously, a little light started to peek through: “Who are the people who are NOT worrying about the current economic situation???!”

…They are the people who are NOT using their mental energy to focus on the problem, or the “bad” state of things, or how awful it could get – that’s who! And, if that is true, then who have I been being? Or, even better, who do I want to START being now?

What was my anger telling me about the truth of the situation (as I was focusing on it) for me?? Bad feelings tell us that we have discord within ourselves – discord between what we are thinking about, or how we are perceiving ourselves vs. what our own Inner Being / Highest-Self / Soul knows to be true about us. …Discord between what we are currently imagining and what is actually waiting for us in our own “vibrational escrow” – our future reality (IF we ALLOW ourselves to line-up with it!)

My anger was NOT *because of* the situation / condition of "the economy" (no matter how seductively disguised to SEEM that way it was), my anger was because I was using my creative brain energy to focus my thoughts on something that is NOT TRUE according to my Inner Being/Source Energy! ...My anger was because my OWN vibrational escrow is holding a reality for ME that is not touched, damaged, or harmed in any way by those conditions - they may affect other people dreadfully (if those people are creating/perpetuating that for themselves,) but, for me, my own reality must be "above all that", because when I was looking at the "bad economy reality” my own emotional guidance system was telling me to turn my focus away from it!

It was hard to do, because the "state of the economy" is such a hot-button for me, I gravitate to it like a crack-addict looking for a fix. That, and photo-enforcement traffic signal cameras are two subjects I can’t seem to get myself a slippery enough soap-box for – I get up there and it is damn hard to pull me back down! And, to make matters even worse, trying to "not think" about it is like trying to pull your finger out of an electrical socket - the electricity that is doing the damage is the very thing holding your finger in connection with it! Trying to "not think" about it *IS* thinking about it, therefore, an impossible task!

So, instead, perhaps I should focus on what IS true for me? Or, at least, what do I WANT to be true for me on the subject of the economy? It is in answering that question that I started to allow my own abundance to begin to flicker in my imagination again…

I tried to "look at" the situation from the other side - not the side of the "poor people who are so adversely affected by the economy" with whom I was identifying with so strongly mere moments before, but from the side of the "prosperous people who have plenty, who are living an abundant reality, and who aren't terribly affected by the economy"... BOTH exist. BOTH are living their lives and creating their OWN realities despite what is going on for "the others"!! BUT **I** was the one who was choosing to identify with the "poor, oppressed segment of society" (while I was in that conversation) - I was the one who was observing their plight and offering my thoughts of "something should be done", "this isn't right", etc. - beating the drum of a troubled economy - which only perpetuates that kind of pattern for ME! (Maybe not in the same way, but it certainly wasn't manifesting a pattern of abundance and joy (at least not that night!))

Admitting to myself that there did indeed exist people who were so prosperous and abundant in their creation of their life reality, that the state of the economy didn't affect them too harshly felt really good to me, so I thought about it more... "Those people" (of whom I must be one in vibrational escrow, because thinking about it feels good) don't see a "problem" with the economy, and are therefore creating/attracting a reality that supports that belief! For "they" who have an abundance of dollars for their own desired lifestyle, the current economy might be an annoyance at worst, an opportunity at least, and a stroke of good luck for whatever it is that they are up to! "They" are using the economy right now, as it IS, to THRIVE! "They" are doing really well, and quite possibly, finding opportunities to do even better financially than they did last year, or the year before that! There are even people who are becoming more and more prosperous WHILE creating win-win situations for EVERYBODY involved with them! ...The already abundant Universe is giving them even more of what they desire - that is the reality they are creating with their focus. They don't see a problem with the economy, because, to them, it literally isn't there! Just like when Abraham (the teachings of Abraham-Hicks) says that the world doesn't need to be fixed, and the Polar Bears don't need to be saved, and there is plenty of everything for everybody - as soon as we each align ourselves with that knowing - then it is true for us too! ...I want me some of THAT!!!

...The Law of Attraction brings to our experience EXACTLY what we focus our attention on!

I had been the one "creating" a troubled economy because I was the one choosing to focus my thoughts on it and identify with it!!! As soon as I choose anew, and focus my thoughts on what my own Inner Being knows to be true for ME, both now, and in my own future, then, there won't be a troubled economy for ME anymore!!! ...And that is the ONLY reality I CAN create - the one for ME! And, it is only when it doesn't exist for me anymore that I can *really* help anyone else to know that it doesn't have to exist for them anymore!!!

(...I certainly wasn't adding value by creating more "poor and oppressed" conditions! As we have all heard before, “one can’t get sick enough to heal anyone else’s disease!”)

I create MY OWN reality, so, *I* am the one who has to discipline myself to look at the world through the lens of Source Energy and abundance, or, at least the lens of how I desire to live MY life. ...Then, I just have to trust that all the rest will fall into place perfectly in it's own time. So what IS the reality I can now create based on my shift of focus?

• Now I have again begun to be more conscious about NOT watching the news when stories of doom and gloom come on...
• When I do catch myself in a conversation where those topics come up, or I notice them for some reason, I use it as a trigger to say to myself: "That is NOT my reality - MY reality is that ALL is well, MY reality is that my opportunities are coming to me BECAUSE of the conditions right now, MY reality is rich, and prosperous, and full and fun, MY reality is thriving in ALL conditions!"
• When I see examples of people, or companies, or products flourishing in this market, I say "THAT's for ME!"
• When I have ideas for products or services or collaborations, I think "WOW! Look! It's another possible channel through which the abundant Universe might be bringing me fabulous success!"
• If I hear of someone else's success, windfall, or income improvement, I know even more strongly that mine is on the way - the simple awareness of the "desired reality" in someone else tells me that my own vibration is attracting THAT reality, so I rejoice! (For them, AND for me!)

Through the simple shift of focus as to which experience I am choosing to identify with, I can turn the "they" who are prosperous in the above example into a "WE"! And, finally, get back on track with the real work of looking for ALL the ways that my "desired reality" is true for me NOW... How MY economy IS great!!! ...I *DO* have money coming in, I *AM* able to pay the bills that are due today (using the legitimate resources available to me) , I *DO* have tons of ideas that could really be something awesome, I *AM* able to do exactly what I love doing for work, and I am really happy doing it, I *DO* see many opportunities that I really can do if I choose...

When I am looking ONLY for what I WANT to see (be it economic conditions, income, health, love, family, etc.) and looking for ways to see it as already true now (even a little bit) the Law of Attraction MUST bring my attention to more of THAT! And, when I am experiencing peace, and prosperity, and love in my heart - the economy IS great!! ...And so it is. It is Law.

What do *I* really want?

It is SO easy to think "as soon as he does this, then I will be happy and able to do that" or, "when X finally happens, then I can know that it is possible for me to do Y" or, a real biggie, "when I have the $$$, then I can ________!" And, even reading those sentences, it seems as if there is some legitimacy to thinking that way, at least in some situations... Doesn't it?

But what if it is the other way around? What if, in the grand scheme of things, it HAS to be the other way around?

What if you MUST start doing that BEFORE you can be happy / he will do whatever this is?
What if you MUST be doing Y before X can even BEGIN to happen?
What if you MUST start working toward ________ BEFORE you can get any $$ for it?

...What if you need to decide in YOUR heart that you WANT the promotion at work before the idea can even be planted in the minds of your superiors?
...What if you need to remember for yourself how intensely lovable he already IS before the thought even occurs to him to bring you flowers?
...What if you want to start to make a dream come true so badly that you have to actually start working on it without funding to prove to the Universe that you are really serious before a mere idea of how to attract some money from it will materialize?

What if the act of me deciding specifically what I want (and why I want it) will affect some condition that seemingly has nothing to do with me that will then enable my desire to come about?

This seems to be the case in a story I have recently experienced first hand: My husband has been trying to decide between three job offers he has. Now to me, it seems as if it is a total no-brainer - I mean, hands-down, no questions asked, one of the three choices is a clear winner for us - it is everything we have wanted, and more! ...At least, that is how *I* see it. But, mystifyingly to me, he is not so clear on what is "obviously" the winning choice. So I started to wonder what could be going on here? Why is it that something so clear to me is not so clear to him? It got me to thinking about how we have to "pay the piper" in advance in a life of attraction - the Universe requires us to pony up our OWN enthusiasm BEFORE it will see fit to give us what we want... In fact, that is HOW the Universe KNOWS what we want! I started to wonder if my husband was simply being a little microcosm of the Universe reflecting back to me my OWN waffling with regard to what I truly want in my life??? So I tried a little experiment - I started listing in my own mind the benefits of the job offer I wanted him to want... Listing the what and the why...

I love the city I'm living in! Why? I love the beach, I love the weather, I love my friends, I love the organizations I am a part of, I love my sense of home, I love being near my family...
I love my career here! Why? I love that I am in charge of my own schedule, I love that I have contacts and clients and friends here who are pulling for me, believe in me, and want me to succeed, I love that I am making money doing what I love to do, and it is all through word of mouth referrals, I love that my vast network of friends here all want to assist me, I love that the Universe is sending me both resources and ideas easily because I am happy here...
I love my lifestyle! Why? I love that I live in a bright, airy, warm, beautiful house that is close to so many amenities I appreciate, I love that I can walk to the beach, I love that I can walk to at least 12 restaurants that I enjoy (and three little markets, too) and that 100's more are within a handful of miles, I love that I work from my house and my house is a nice place to be, I love that this is my reality, and that appreciating it comes very easily to me!

On the other hand, I know someone else whose life is made up of three part-time jobs: As an under-appreciated paralegal in a law firm to pay the bills, a web programmer, and a jewelry designer. What she really wants is one full-time career doing one of the jobs (Owning her own business in the web world, I think). But, because she also likes at least one of the other two (jewelry designing, and selling a bit of it here and there on one of her web sites (and, if you can listen through her complaining and refusal to quit the paralegal gig, I suspect she secretly likes it too, if only because it is the "devil she knows" and quitting is too scary for her!!!)) Anyway, her intention is to keep her options open in case her first choice doesn't pan out. I see the nobility of her desire, I see that she would be perfectly happy with the 2nd choice career rather than the first (if, as she says, she could "make it" as a jewelry designer at a sustainable level), and I see that she really IS trying to succeed (at all three jobs!!) But, what I don't see is the passion she says she has for the first-choice job really pushed full-throttle toward doing that one! (And that one only!) ...And I am convinced that the Universe only really reacts to the kind of passion that will not be dissuaded - it's as if the Universe can feel it when "no less will do" and then, in response to the seriousness of the command, it really gets busy! I keep trying to encourage her to really focus on just the one - not to stop doing the others necessarily, because she gets more of her income from the paralegal gig, but, to use ALL of her mental power, imagination, and intention to simply concentrate on the one that is her first choice! Yeah, maybe she spends some time doing the others, but when it comes to what she is eating, sleeping, thinking, dreaming, and most of all, SPEAKING to others about, with regard to what she is doing - the focus MUST be on the ONE that she really wants! I try to encourage her to temporarily set aside the one that is both the least profitable AND not the most powerful desire (the jewelry) and focus every bit of attention she has on the web work - to the exclusion of even social engagements or other extra-curricular activities - for a month, or two, just to see what happens. I think that if she REALLY focused on ONE desire - focusing on what she wants and WHY she wants it - she would see some startling results! But, alas, so far this is only a theory, as she hasn't taken my advice. Well see, maybe she will, one of these days, and "suddenly" go from being a starving hopeful to being an "overnight" success??!! I'll keep you posted...

...There is a phrase that says: "Yes, you CAN have it all - just not all at the same time!" and I think that is very true!

One final illustration to convey my point on FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS: I was asked for advice from someone who was looking for a job, and he said that he was good at x, y and z. (I don't remember what the x, y, and z actually were, but they were disparate skills.) Now I know that he meant that he could happily do any of those things - not that he wanted to do them all simultaneously, but, my first thought was yikes - those things are entirely different job categories! Unfortunately, the UNIVERSE IS VERY LITERAL! As much as we like to think that the Universe MUST know that what we really mean is to only do the one that is the favorite, the fact of the matter is that the Universe really responds the same way my first impression did with regard to the potential job seeker: I don't know of ANY jobs where you do x, y, AND z!!! ...Or, if I can think of one, it's going to take me a LONG time to find it for ya!

Whew! ...So I guess I have to get really clear on what I MOST want and why I want it before I can expect the Universe to help me out, huh?

Then, mere hours after starting this post, as if in answer to my ponderings, the Universe influenced my husband by sweetening the deal for him, leading him to the aforementioned "obvious" conclusion, and he accepted the perfect job for him (and the perfect situation for me!) This may seem like a coincidence to many, but, for any who know my husband's remarkable ability to waffle on a decision, this was a miracle! (...One that you and I both know was made possible by MY connection with MY desire and enthusiasm for it!)

Wishing you ALL the same power of joy, confidence, connection, enthusiasm, and miracles that come with focusing on ONE dream, ONE desire, ONE goal at a time - giving YOURSELF the gift of getting really clear on why you want it - the Universe will do the rest!

You ARE on the right path!

What if you knew that EXACTLY what you are doing right now, today, this week, right this minute was the PRECISELY correct action to take you where you ultimately want to be in your life?

What would that feel like?

You may be sitting there, in a job you don't particularly like, looking for a way to take another break, but unsure of the vibratory effect of yet one more cup of coffee, you are simply sitting for now... Or maybe you know what you "should" be doing to make some progress, but, you don't really feel like it right now... Perhaps you are indulging in my all-time favorite time-wasting activity and watching the television, lamenting the time NOT spent on the treadmill, outside, with your family, reading, writing, painting, planning - anything but what you ARE doing right this minute? ...Even sleeping, eating, showering, or web-surfing - all things we must do on a daily (or almost daily) basis, yet, they don't seem to be things that are directly related to the fulfillment of our dreams and goals! (...at least, not most of the time!)

What if what you are doing RIGHT NOW is the EXACT activity that is ABSOLUTELY necessary to the fulfillment of your fondest wishes and goals???!

What if not only what you are doing right this minute is absolutely necessary to the fulfillment of your desires (because, right this minute, you are reading my blog, and that is DEFINITELY helpful for the achievement of any one's goals!!!! (wink and a smile!)) but, EVERY action that you take today is absolutely, positively necessary to your progression along your path??? ...The commute, the traffic, the seemingly mundane lunch, the phone calls, the billboard that caught your eye, the annoying guy in the next cubicle, the memo that you hate to write but must do all the same, the television, the distractions, all of it???!

How would your current life look different, feel different, if you KNEW that ALL of it was an INTEGRAL part of creating the YOU that will eventually be experiencing ALL of your dreams??!

Guess what? It IS! All of it.

How exciting is that? Pretty darn exciting when you observe the traffic jam you are stuck in and ponder the idea that it is and absolutely necessary part of your path to your own dreams! Now it may not be directly obvious how that can be true, it may never be, but the point is to be able to look at some situation in your life and KNOW that it IS helping you - however indirectly that may be!

So, the next time you catch yourself frustrated, aggravated, overwhelmed, or even just plain bored, try asking yourself: "How might THIS situation, AS IS, be helping me in the long run? What is this situation showing me about where I am going in LIFE? What are some aspects of this that are HELPING me, right now??"

...Maybe it is only to be more clear about what you DO want in your life, but, when you spend some time thinking about and pondering THAT - I guarantee that you will be FEELING better about exactly where you ARE! ...And THAT is the key to the Law of Attraction: Feel better about where you ARE in life, so you can attract more of THAT! It is what is meant by the "art of allowing" - allowing what IS to be, as it is, without trying to change it, and thus, allowing yourself to focus on it's benefits to you rather than any frustration that may be present.

Your inner self, your own higher you, the REAL YOU and the Universe are conspiring and calling your attention to everything that comes into your awareness right now - all with the singular purpose of using it to craft and fine-tune YOU to be able to be the YOU that will be experiencing the dreams YOU have! ...It is BY you, and it is FOR you!

For instance, as I was finishing up the line above, trying to finish this very post, the computer suddenly went blank - it had run out of juice, and went dark without warning. For a moment I was quite frustrated, as I enjoy finishing things and moving on, and here I was, SO close to finishing and posting, then poof! After a minute of looking for a power source in order to "change my situation" without any success, I decided to try my own advice on myself... I asked myself: "okay, so little miss smarty-pants, what could be the good in THIS situation for YOU, Andrea? Why might the sudden IN-ability to continue writing and get this post out to the eager masses of loyal fans be a GOOD thing? How might this situation be EXACTLY the right circumstance to move me along the path to my own dreams of glory or being offered a book deal????!" Silence. I couldn't think of anything. Zilch. But, on the other hand, I wasn't spending the downtime raging against the injustice of it all either - I was actively looking for the positive, or even, the necessarily neutral in the situation, and thus, felt a sense of inner peace with it all. ...I wasn't annoyed and frustrated anymore either! That is the REAL beauty of it! The goal is not necessarily to be happy-go-lucky all the time, just NOT to be focused on the upset!!! As it turns out, when I finally got back to being able to continue working on the post, I had used some more of my interim time to pick up a book a love and start to read a bit. (The book is "The Passion Test" by Janet and Chris Attwood - a book I highly recommend to anyone who is on the path of crafting where it is they think they want to go in life and or fulfilling big dreams and wondering the best way to go about it - it has a remarkable ability to give one a sense of confidence in the pure power of simply following one's own fascinations!) In it, I immediately found a quote that confirmed the wisdom of what I had been writing in the post in the first place: "Your challenge is to stay open, let go of your concepts about how your life should be, and embrace the way it IS! ...When you love the PROCESS, the results will take care of themselves!" (emphasis added)

What this all means to me is a confirmation of the ideas I had presented at the beginning of this post - that this IS the right path! What I am doing RIGHT NOW has a greater purpose for me, even if I don't know what it is right now! That staying open to the ideas about how any (and every) moment might be of benefit to me, I am allowing greater and greater levels of clarification, and, perhaps, even actual progress toward my goals and dreams even if I am not consciously aware of HOW that could be possible. And, most of all, by looking for the grace that might be living in any situation I may find myself to be in, I am much more likely to find it. And that, in itself, is the essence of the Law of Attraction - choose to focus on the good and the desirable, and make it your intention to feel good despite the circumstances and conditions you find yourself in, as THAT is the way to get to where your heart wants to go! And that, as far as I know, is what we all really want anyway!

Take heart... You ARE on the right path!
...Simply because you allow yourself to see that you are!

18 minutes to know who you REALLY are!

I just read a NY Times article which includes a video of a lecture given by a brain scientist in which she describes the process of having a stroke, from the inside out, and simultaneously "discovering" that any disconnection we feel from each other, and from life, is ALL in our minds!

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/13/when-a-brain-scientist-suffers-a-stroke/

This is SO SO SO cool, and, for me, conveys in no uncertain terms, the TRUTH of who we all REALLY are! We ARE divine beings having a human experience! ...And science, through the actual experience of a scientist, is now beginning to prove it!

There are other fantastic video lectures at the TED site, and I intend to also write some more about the significance of this video specifically as it pertains to the Law of Attraction, but, I wanted to get it out to you as soon as possible!

Today is YOUR day - ENJOY it!!!!